the rain keeps on pounding

Our Same Word by Yiruma (maybe I will one day get to see him in a concert?) :)



And the rain keeps on coming... it's raining hard outside...it might be the last rain season that I will witness here. The roof might be temporarily leaking again. Last time it did quite a bit of damage to my kitchen utensils!

It's been a quite few years. I have come to love and come to be familiar with this place. At the same time, I am also ready to move on to a different place. I went grocery shopping today and realized that very soon, I will probably have to learn everything from scratch all over again. But it is okie. If I start counting the weeks, I wonder how many it would be. It's already mid-august.

From time to time, I ask myself what it is that I want to do. I wonder whether you do the same. While I juggle between projects (professional and personal), I wonder why I have to try so many things. What is it that I really like and would not be tired of doing it every day?

I realize I do miss writing. I do miss working creatively. I used to write more often (not technical writing but more of creative writing). I wrote a small book that needs to be edited. I wonder when was the last time I had it read. Maybe I should take it out and start reading it again to make modifications.

If the trend that I have been observed is correct, I will probably rewrite the whole thing. It has come to no surprise to me that in the past few letters that I've sent (professionally) as well as essays that I wrote, I pretty much rewrote the entire document the second time around. Not that it was not good in the first place, it was a rough draft which needed to be polished. And I did after the second, the third, and the fourth etc.

Very soon, I will have to start the whole writing process all over again in anticipation of a new application cycle. May I head to the right direction... if not, I hope something would come and stop me :)

night night..

pounding rain

the rain keeps on
pounding
on the rooftop
into the windowsill

the raindrops tiptoe
while thunder and lightning
shine
through the night

was it the rain
or was it the sound
wiggling
to my heart

it keeps on pounding
pounding
pounding
and
pounding

(C) please credit if used!

fall is here

It's all new all over again...
Last year, I couldn't detect the fall weather in the air.  This year, with a different perspective, I take a fresher look at my surrounding and realize it's so beautiful.  Yes, a place that is beautiful and sheltered from the world's trouble.
It has been a few days already.  People are struggling to keep up with life.  First it was the typhoon that killed and displaced hundreds if not thousands of people.  Then, the tsunami hit Samoa.  The natural disaster continued with two big earthquakes in Indonesia.  Thousands of people are suffering in the world.  I wonder what I can do.  Working with organization in school?  Working with organization outside of school?  Should I just start an organization of my own?  I always think about it.  It is not a bad idea.  However, the fear of failure is looming ahead.  Maybe once I get over this fear, things will fare better.  When you work without fear of failure and with only the end in mind, the road is a lot clearer... and the confidence will surge high.
It has been a very long week with 2 tests and numerous things to do.  I am always blessed with all the things I have in life.  I don't think I can ask for more.

I keep my prayer for you.  Hopefully things will fare better next year... no that's too far away... hopefully things will fare better as time goes on.

I have been thinking a lot about all the classes that I am taking this semester.  Well, in all I'm taking quite a handful.  However, I do enjoy them.  Sometimes, coming to class can be a little difficult because you had a long day the previous day.  Sometimes, all I had was a quick lunch break and a rush home for dinner only to come back to school for another 3 hours of instruction.  I wonder why I have to put myself through it.  Sometimes I thought about just maybe delay the certificate program.  However, a small encounter with an elderly who experienced a stroke changed it all.  It made things a lot easier because I know one day they might need me.  Seeing them happy makes me happy.

it's fall...

I guess I should be studying but I do love writing.
I love to write mostly about what I think.  I love to write about things surrounding me.
The temperature has cooled down significantly in the past day.  No longer was the intense heat combining with humidity.  My glasses won't get fogged up probably for another few months if not another 7-10 months or so.
Changes are always here.  I never noted the pattern each year even though I should have.  But why bother noting pattern when we can always look at the present and appreciate it for what it is?  Yes, the leaves will turn color.  It will then fall on the ground.  This pattern has been expressed numerous time in literature, magazine, and talks.  It's often talked about because it is so beautiful to look at and yes most of us will probably remember the moment we stand there appreciating nature as it is.  It's shedding to have a new cover.
And it is like that with everything in life.
We turn our leaf daily without noticing it.  Every little change we make in our daily life will contribute to the bigger change a year from now, two years from now or even ten years from now.
It is hard to accept that you have changed.  Comparison does not mean much if it only gives you misery.  Instead, look at the hard fact and learn about what have you changed and why have you changed.  The outcomes and reasons might give you insights of who you are at the present and probably who you want to be in the future.  Many reasons to live, many reasons to believe and yes sometimes we are stuck in one single post not knowing where to turn...sometimes because we haven't looked at ourself... sometimes because we haven't admitted that we've changed...
Last fall, I was a different person in this world.  This fall, I have changed into a different one.  The basic characteristics are still there.  Some are sharpened with times.  Some have become dull through neglect and the un-necessary.  After all, you can only live the moment of your life once.  So why not take advantage of it and do something that you might not regret later.  Even if you do regret, just remember you have chosen it... and move on...