midnight again

so my first day of class is officially Monday...
I guess I'm a little bit more anxious than normal.  The amount of course loads and the anticipations of a hard semester only add more anxiety on top of everything.
Once in a while I start to wonder... what happens if I forgot everything when I graduated.
Doubts are those creepers that keep crawling into my head and telling me about all the impossibilities of remembering all of these concepts.  I guess it's a scary thing.   It's a scary things when you don't know what lie ahead.  It's a scary thing when you don't know whether you can hold onto your own sanity.
I hate doubts but I have so much doubts.  Just wish I have a clearer head... maybe it's time for another retreat (March possibly... I need to call and confirm...if I can... I should go..., I really should... the first time I did, it helped me getting through the toughest time yet in my life... wonder what this one would bring even if it's only for a much shorter time...)