adjusting?

Adjusting?  What adjusting?  I fall into the rhythm of school and test seamlessly.  I guess being in school for the last year and a half has been truly rewarding.  I love learning and yes I hate testing but as they said how would you know you know the material without being tested.  Well I might have to say, give us a case study and we will work on it and we will learn from it.  Give us our SOAP notes because we will have to look through the references, understanding the conditions, and applying our knowledge.  Instead of giving us a 50 questions exam, give us something that when we finish, we know we have known the materials.  No, to most, test rules...
But it's okie.. it's just the fact of life.
The new motto of this semester: study so you know what you study but don't kill yourself over silly mistake.  Chances are in real life, you have resources to turn to.  Chances are in real life, you will gain enough experience to make the right clinical judgement.
The impending future still looms ahead and yes I still don't know what I want to do.  Who knows something will come up.  If it doesn't, I would just have to go and look for it!
on a good note, I've been keeping up with my photo blog a lot better than my studying ^_^

... things I have thought about recently...

So school has started for about one week already.  What should I say? I'm neither excited or depressed.  It has become just a matter of going to classes, studying, completing homework, working on cases, doing all the quizzes, preparing for classes, learning new information...the laundry list is long but somehow I knew it wasn't anxiety that got into me recently.  I was it was a state of uncertainty.
I don't like uncertainty because it doesn't let me know where I am heading.  I don't like the fact that I have to think about where I am heading.  Why things can't be just as clear cut.. life oh life.
Looking at the images from Haiti... I often wonder how life can be this unfair to their people.  We asked our teachers they often said... it's collective karma...but thousands of people suffered the same fate I wonder... what they did.  My prayer is with them.
school starts again on tuesday with ... many assignments to be due... I'd better get ready for the semester...
second semester of pharmacy school is the hardest people often said...it's either i'm in denial but i'm just... well... it's all studying... there is no escape...complaint won't solve the problems... so I guess I will just try to stay alive this semester ^_^
hopefully... I can do it...

midnight again

so my first day of class is officially Monday...
I guess I'm a little bit more anxious than normal.  The amount of course loads and the anticipations of a hard semester only add more anxiety on top of everything.
Once in a while I start to wonder... what happens if I forgot everything when I graduated.
Doubts are those creepers that keep crawling into my head and telling me about all the impossibilities of remembering all of these concepts.  I guess it's a scary thing.   It's a scary things when you don't know what lie ahead.  It's a scary thing when you don't know whether you can hold onto your own sanity.
I hate doubts but I have so much doubts.  Just wish I have a clearer head... maybe it's time for another retreat (March possibly... I need to call and confirm...if I can... I should go..., I really should... the first time I did, it helped me getting through the toughest time yet in my life... wonder what this one would bring even if it's only for a much shorter time...)

a cold night

would have posted more... if my hands and fingers are not freezing...
sometimes I wonder how people could not take others' perspective insights.  I guess sympathy is not a given characteristic.  People learn to be sympathetic with one another.  Everyday you learn something new.  I was told, you can only live for yourself... it can't become any truer as I grow older.  :)

in case you don't know... I'm starting a photo blog
http://photomemica.blogspot.com/

enjoy :)