i'm studying...hard...
been working this weekend..+ studying...+ sleeping ...
suddenly realize...the thought about one of the things that I do makes me really happy and excited...I guess I should continue ^_^
Music from one of my favorite movies (cost me lots of tears :D)
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
gorgeous saturday---
it's like...saturday...beautiful...gorgeous weather..
so i understand why i'm working, studying, and working and studying...
it feels as if ... pure entertainment is no longer entertained.
once you change a mindset...you change a mindset...
eventually it might either go back or move forward...
love the weather
love the fall expectation
love the sun...
and it's true as well that i love my work... i love my studying....not that I enjoy exam but it's something have to get done before you practice...so I just have to deal with it.
Hopefully...next week will be better but I guess it might not be so because...until thanksgiving, i have 3 exams, 1 project, 2 essays and other work-related things to do. :)
life is fun...life is beautiful...for a workaholic person
Maybe - by Yiruma...maybe I will make a video for these beautiful music... (yeah when I find time...but then working is sometimes part of my entertainment...)
so i understand why i'm working, studying, and working and studying...
it feels as if ... pure entertainment is no longer entertained.
once you change a mindset...you change a mindset...
eventually it might either go back or move forward...
love the weather
love the fall expectation
love the sun...
and it's true as well that i love my work... i love my studying....not that I enjoy exam but it's something have to get done before you practice...so I just have to deal with it.
Hopefully...next week will be better but I guess it might not be so because...until thanksgiving, i have 3 exams, 1 project, 2 essays and other work-related things to do. :)
life is fun...life is beautiful...for a workaholic person
Maybe - by Yiruma...maybe I will make a video for these beautiful music... (yeah when I find time...but then working is sometimes part of my entertainment...)
Thursday, October 28, 2010
...
once in a while... you start writing a letter that never gets finished...
it happens today...I start writing..then realizing...what's the point...
strange day...strange week...strange month...
it happens today...I start writing..then realizing...what's the point...
strange day...strange week...strange month...
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
almost the end of october...with lots of memories
Has it past midnight...
has it really been two years already? I checked my calendar today and there it is...an event that I sometimes forget...
I don't think words can describe how I am feeling...
I know I will always remember...even though I don't show it to others.
Only if I know where you are...but then again...I'm sure you are in good hand...
this marks the second year... life without you has been different. I still love you much because you always give me strengths and courage.
Knowing you, living with you, learning from you, being your child...all of these are my blessings.. and more than ever I know even though you never said it, you love me...yeah this I know
with love
has it really been two years already? I checked my calendar today and there it is...an event that I sometimes forget...
I don't think words can describe how I am feeling...
I know I will always remember...even though I don't show it to others.
Only if I know where you are...but then again...I'm sure you are in good hand...
this marks the second year... life without you has been different. I still love you much because you always give me strengths and courage.
Knowing you, living with you, learning from you, being your child...all of these are my blessings.. and more than ever I know even though you never said it, you love me...yeah this I know
with love
Saturday, October 23, 2010
a fall night
I guess we all have our little secrets.
Today I've learned of a secret that I can't tell. In a way, I'm glad I wasn't surprised when I heard about it. Was I hurt that I didn't know? No of course. It's a secret and everyone is entitled to have one or two or more. But it must be tiresome to keep all the secret to yourself.
Ever since I start to grow up, I learn that the more secret you know, the more burdensome things will become. It's better to live a life with light heart. It's not like you will bury yourself in your own little world. It's just you don't have know everyone's secret to live. You have your own life that you need to tend to. Why would you want to bother yourself with others? I hope this is called growing up and I am staying away from the word "jaded" because of its negative connotation.
We tend to live our life thinking about what we think is the best. I am not exception. Many times I have tried to be better. I know my bossy way can get in the way sometimes but in certain circumstances, I am not afraid to make decision because things need to move on. Yes, I have had problems with things going in the unwanted directions but I always have to remind myself, in many cases, I can't control everything. Rather than thinking about the losses, it's better to focus on the gain. And if there is no gain, neutral is fine as well.
Today I learn that sometimes it's better to let things go. It's better to not cling about the emotion. But I'm just afraid, will I ever forget what it means to be hurt again? They said no emotion is immuned to habitual. Maybe one day I will really just look at it and let it go.
Today I've learned of a secret that I can't tell. In a way, I'm glad I wasn't surprised when I heard about it. Was I hurt that I didn't know? No of course. It's a secret and everyone is entitled to have one or two or more. But it must be tiresome to keep all the secret to yourself.
Ever since I start to grow up, I learn that the more secret you know, the more burdensome things will become. It's better to live a life with light heart. It's not like you will bury yourself in your own little world. It's just you don't have know everyone's secret to live. You have your own life that you need to tend to. Why would you want to bother yourself with others? I hope this is called growing up and I am staying away from the word "jaded" because of its negative connotation.
We tend to live our life thinking about what we think is the best. I am not exception. Many times I have tried to be better. I know my bossy way can get in the way sometimes but in certain circumstances, I am not afraid to make decision because things need to move on. Yes, I have had problems with things going in the unwanted directions but I always have to remind myself, in many cases, I can't control everything. Rather than thinking about the losses, it's better to focus on the gain. And if there is no gain, neutral is fine as well.
Today I learn that sometimes it's better to let things go. It's better to not cling about the emotion. But I'm just afraid, will I ever forget what it means to be hurt again? They said no emotion is immuned to habitual. Maybe one day I will really just look at it and let it go.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
it's official!
It's official!!! I'm going to go to my first choice for rotation!!! SO happy!! I know many of my friends don't get their first choice. I wish it was different for them. But I can't hide how happy I am. Finally I don't have to drive home every weekend!! ^_^
Sunday, October 17, 2010
i can do it
I'll be telling myself in the next 24 hours that..I can do this....
just a test (30%)
a presentation (10%)
a quiz (2%)
it's just that...there are more materials than I think...but i think i can do it ^_^
just a test (30%)
a presentation (10%)
a quiz (2%)
it's just that...there are more materials than I think...but i think i can do it ^_^
Saturday, October 16, 2010
beautiful saturday but I'm not part of it
On a beautiful day like this..i'm sitting here studying for my test on monday...
wish Monday was over already ^_^
Korean language is intriguing. At time, it's so easy but sometimes the nuance is hard to get. I try to learn but I wonder whether I should take a course to learn the basic. Always like language but it's hard to learn Korean here.
wish Monday was over already ^_^
Korean language is intriguing. At time, it's so easy but sometimes the nuance is hard to get. I try to learn but I wonder whether I should take a course to learn the basic. Always like language but it's hard to learn Korean here.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
laugh or no laugh
this must be crazy.
I'm looking @ FDC and thinking fixed dose combination
I'm looking @ omg and thinking it's omega-3 fatty acid!!!
I'm looking @ FDC and thinking fixed dose combination
I'm looking @ omg and thinking it's omega-3 fatty acid!!!
Sunday, October 10, 2010
realizing..
... just realize...
if you want to reach your potential, you have to work on it...
dreamy dream...dreamy wish...dreamy questions will lead you to where you want to be...only action can ^_^
if you want to reach your potential, you have to work on it...
dreamy dream...dreamy wish...dreamy questions will lead you to where you want to be...only action can ^_^
on the day like this
I don't know whether it's because of age... as you get older, you start to witness the departure of the one you love and know...but every since 2008, I have known of several. I wonder whether it is going to become a ritual. You hear people pass away every day in the news. But they are not the ones you know most of the time. Once in awhile, a tragic incidence will stir your heart. Once in a while, you drop a tear. Once in a while, you will reflect upon it. Once in a while, you start to work to become a better person, toward the goal that you make.
At time like this, I realize...how short our life is. Trying to hold on to everything...trying to hold on to the moment...but once the last breath leaves the body...the moment has stopped.
Such parting is part of life. As we continue to grow older, life is giving us means to get accustom to it. But most of the time, our emotion is stronger than our mind. It is so much easier to flow with the emotion. To cry our heart out, to scream on the top of our lung, and to hide away in the corner.
Time passes by...love passes by...what will you bring with you on the day you leave? the accumulation of your action...
Saturday, October 9, 2010
written for a friend
Writing for a friend...
I initially want to write about our memories, the moments we shared, the laughters, the tears and the stories. Only then I suddenly realized, this is not a story about how a friendship matured. Instead, it is about the legacy of determination and love that I would like to not only remember but tell others. Dear K.B, you might not have known but your existence in our life gave us strength and made us realized how fragile but at the same time beautiful life was. Because of people like you, the world has become a bit nicer and better.
Once I first knew you, I did not know what you had gone through in the past. A person in front of me was a young, lively, smart and beautiful person who happened to have the same sense of humor as I did. Our friendship started. Talks after talks, you finally opened up and told me about your story which strangely gave me strength to overcome the hardship I was experiencing at the time. An illness once thought cured suddenly came back when you were about to live the dream of your life. Your courage to go against all-odds is admired and respected.
Being a pharmacist, this was your dream. Once you told me, school helped easing the thoughts of being unable to do things and to do the things you loved. And you continued to do so until the very last time. Seeing you in school a few weeks ago, all I could do was to give you a hug. You carefully showed me how you had been studying. Holding your "Nook", you continued to learn and told me "Nook" was a wonderful tool. You told me you were interested in the student group that I was in and would like to go to the meeting next time. Only that I have not gotten chance to send you information about our next meeting.
You introduced your Dad, a parent whose tenacity I admired. I don't know if you know but secretly he was probably very proud of his daughter because even though it was hard, she was thriving in P-school and earned respect from every classmate that she was friend with. For you, K's Dad, I understand it was never easy to see your loved one sufferings but you held up strongly. May I say this determination and strong-will run in your family? Did K. happen to take this great quality after you? Because she never thought about failure. For it, it was the way and as long as she could, she would continue.
K, Your presence reminded me to never underestimate human's ability to overcome even the hardest part of one's life. Last semester was hard, wasn't it K? Seeing you falling from time to time, it made me wonder what I should do if I was to contract the same illness. It is not an easy question. I might cry a lot. I might complain how life is so unfair. I might end up being psychotic. But you showed me a different option. You showed me that no matter what happens, what matters most is to continue to do what you love to do and follow your passion. You show me to believe in one's self because it will give me strength to continue the path ahead. With that my friend, I am glad to be your friend. I am glad that I believe in the things that happen or the people that we encounter in life sometimes are for reasons. Because even though you are no longer here with us, your wonderful characteristics and attitude in life will continue to contribute to our growth and understandings of others.
So thank you for striking up the conversation and late night calls.
I hope you are in good hand now. You will be greatly missed...
With love,
...
I initially want to write about our memories, the moments we shared, the laughters, the tears and the stories. Only then I suddenly realized, this is not a story about how a friendship matured. Instead, it is about the legacy of determination and love that I would like to not only remember but tell others. Dear K.B, you might not have known but your existence in our life gave us strength and made us realized how fragile but at the same time beautiful life was. Because of people like you, the world has become a bit nicer and better.
Once I first knew you, I did not know what you had gone through in the past. A person in front of me was a young, lively, smart and beautiful person who happened to have the same sense of humor as I did. Our friendship started. Talks after talks, you finally opened up and told me about your story which strangely gave me strength to overcome the hardship I was experiencing at the time. An illness once thought cured suddenly came back when you were about to live the dream of your life. Your courage to go against all-odds is admired and respected.
Being a pharmacist, this was your dream. Once you told me, school helped easing the thoughts of being unable to do things and to do the things you loved. And you continued to do so until the very last time. Seeing you in school a few weeks ago, all I could do was to give you a hug. You carefully showed me how you had been studying. Holding your "Nook", you continued to learn and told me "Nook" was a wonderful tool. You told me you were interested in the student group that I was in and would like to go to the meeting next time. Only that I have not gotten chance to send you information about our next meeting.
You introduced your Dad, a parent whose tenacity I admired. I don't know if you know but secretly he was probably very proud of his daughter because even though it was hard, she was thriving in P-school and earned respect from every classmate that she was friend with. For you, K's Dad, I understand it was never easy to see your loved one sufferings but you held up strongly. May I say this determination and strong-will run in your family? Did K. happen to take this great quality after you? Because she never thought about failure. For it, it was the way and as long as she could, she would continue.
K, Your presence reminded me to never underestimate human's ability to overcome even the hardest part of one's life. Last semester was hard, wasn't it K? Seeing you falling from time to time, it made me wonder what I should do if I was to contract the same illness. It is not an easy question. I might cry a lot. I might complain how life is so unfair. I might end up being psychotic. But you showed me a different option. You showed me that no matter what happens, what matters most is to continue to do what you love to do and follow your passion. You show me to believe in one's self because it will give me strength to continue the path ahead. With that my friend, I am glad to be your friend. I am glad that I believe in the things that happen or the people that we encounter in life sometimes are for reasons. Because even though you are no longer here with us, your wonderful characteristics and attitude in life will continue to contribute to our growth and understandings of others.
So thank you for striking up the conversation and late night calls.
I hope you are in good hand now. You will be greatly missed...
With love,
...
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
night night
It's getting colder now...the temperature has dropped dramatically.
I love the crisp clear air. In the future, when I move, this is what I would miss.
I want to write something but no word could describe the feeling clearly...
sometimes we just have to let things be...
you learn to stand up, you learn to fall down, and then stand back up again.
dedication they said will lead you somewhere. I guess it's true.
I remember back in grade school, my erratic behavior was showing in school grade. It was an instance when I literally scored probably one of the lowest scores in the entire class. Then I turned it around and scored much better...the change was significant enough to be mentioned in front of the class (such recognition)...It's nice to hear the good grade but the not-so-good one...why he couldn't keep it to himself.
I realize things don't come to me easily. Everything has to be hard work. Whether it's memorizing, writing and talking to people, everything is a learning process. When will we ever stop learning? I don't know. I guess we always learn from the day we were formed to the day we are ready to leave...
I love the crisp clear air. In the future, when I move, this is what I would miss.
I want to write something but no word could describe the feeling clearly...
sometimes we just have to let things be...
you learn to stand up, you learn to fall down, and then stand back up again.
dedication they said will lead you somewhere. I guess it's true.
I remember back in grade school, my erratic behavior was showing in school grade. It was an instance when I literally scored probably one of the lowest scores in the entire class. Then I turned it around and scored much better...the change was significant enough to be mentioned in front of the class (such recognition)...It's nice to hear the good grade but the not-so-good one...why he couldn't keep it to himself.
I realize things don't come to me easily. Everything has to be hard work. Whether it's memorizing, writing and talking to people, everything is a learning process. When will we ever stop learning? I don't know. I guess we always learn from the day we were formed to the day we are ready to leave...
Sunday, October 3, 2010
sent
sometimes...you just need to get something out of the system in order for the new one to come in...
i'm writing it now...
and ..send I did...
i'm writing it now...
and ..send I did...
nice day but ...
sometimes i wonder..what it is like to live without a purpose...when looking at the world...there is no much to hold on too...
the fantasy of good memories, good future...come and go..then realize...yeah i'm tired...
all the good thing comes to an end at some points.
while i'm encouraged with progress at work, at school, and at many different levels...
the feeling is just sometimes empty...rising up again and again... then realize...until when i should stop? is there even a stopping point...such thoughts sometimes are contradictory.
i guess i live my life in such a way that it's so contradictory in many levels and feeling lost in it is just so normal.
every moment is the end of the previous one, the one that we will never be able to take back.
i decide to drop the H-project. and i am planning to write a letter because we can't meet face to face. after all, my enthusiasm about it has waned long ago.
Such time, a misfit is still a misfit.
the fantasy of good memories, good future...come and go..then realize...yeah i'm tired...
all the good thing comes to an end at some points.
while i'm encouraged with progress at work, at school, and at many different levels...
the feeling is just sometimes empty...rising up again and again... then realize...until when i should stop? is there even a stopping point...such thoughts sometimes are contradictory.
i guess i live my life in such a way that it's so contradictory in many levels and feeling lost in it is just so normal.
every moment is the end of the previous one, the one that we will never be able to take back.
i decide to drop the H-project. and i am planning to write a letter because we can't meet face to face. after all, my enthusiasm about it has waned long ago.
Such time, a misfit is still a misfit.
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