a fall night

I guess we all have our little secrets.

Today I've learned of a secret that I can't tell. In a way, I'm glad I wasn't surprised when I heard about it.  Was I hurt that I didn't know? No of course.  It's a secret and everyone is entitled to have one or two or more.  But it must be tiresome to keep all the secret to yourself.

Ever since I start to grow up, I learn that the more secret you know, the more burdensome things will become.  It's better to live a life with light heart.  It's not like you will bury yourself in your own little world.  It's just you don't have know everyone's secret to live. You have your own life that you need to tend to.  Why would you want to bother yourself with others?  I hope this is called growing up and I am staying away from the word "jaded" because of its negative connotation.

We tend to live our life thinking about what we think is the best.  I am not exception.  Many times I have tried to be better.  I know my bossy way can get in the way sometimes but in certain circumstances, I am not afraid to make decision because things need to move on.  Yes, I have had problems with things going in the unwanted directions but I always have to remind myself, in many cases, I can't control everything.  Rather than thinking about the losses, it's better to focus on the gain.  And if there is no gain, neutral is fine as well.

Today I learn that sometimes it's better to let things go.  It's better to not cling about the emotion.  But I'm just afraid, will I ever forget what it means to be hurt again?  They said no emotion is immuned to habitual.  Maybe one day I will really just look at it and let it go.