Letting it go

If there is anything that I learn from my practice, it's the ability to let things go. Knowing that things are mostly transient has been making my life much easier than how I would have lived. Not staring at the close door, I am able to let go and explore other opportunities. Sometimes I do think, all the signs have been given to us and we often choose to ignore them. Using our logical mind, you try to navigate everything but whether it will bring happiness, I'm not sure. By learning to let things go, I get to see the things that I would not have known otherwise. Such a simple lesson but it takes many years to learn... and many more years to practice. I have always asked for signs to help me...the signs have been given to me all along only I have not noticed it. But now I do and now I embrace it. Let it be...and let it go

challenge again?

Sometimes I wonder what life is all about. Three years ago around this time, I was faced with the life challenge and I had to decide whether to continue or to withdraw. In the end, I was able to pull through with my head high. Three years later, I am once again met with the another challenge in life. Sometimes I wonder if life is teasing me. When I thought I've decided, things start falling apart. But I'm sure I will be fine. No matter what happens, you can't look at the close door and being sad about it. If there is anything that I've learned, life is unexpected and you just have to adapt it as much as you can in order to survive.

Sleep sleep

Last month, I hardly got past 5 hours of sleep a night. All was due to the hectic schedule and the demand of the rotation in addition to the work I need to get done in preparation for December. So you would think I would sleep like a baby whenever I got a chance. It was true most of the time. The moment I turned off the computer to go to bed, my brain was tired and at times thought about what would happen tomorrow. Despite this, some nights I would just close my eyes without being able to fall asleep. Time after time, my brain was just too active for me to go to sleep. I often said I could sleep easily but now I also know that stress and anxiety could cause people to go lose sleep which adds another complexity to the already complex problem. Often time, people would try to relax the mind in order to go to sleep. In the past when I was a lot younger, I would start counting sheep or number. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't work. I think nowadays, some people would take medications to help them going to sleep (the medication works to reduce certain activity of the brain). Some people try yoga, listen to soft music or other relaxation methods. Although, I don't often have insomnia but whenever I do, I realize they all have one thing in common: my brain just could not stop thinking about what I should do tomorrow, the day after tomorrow or it could not stop exploring options to find solutions to problems. At times, I would get lost and just let the brain do its calculation as to what should and should not be done. The more I let go, the more awake I became and the less sleepy I was even though my body was tired from working all day. (This hasn't accounted to the anxiety that these thoughts brought to me). So how I got out of the loops that keep me from having a nice sleep: I often would have to tell my brain that thinking too much and it's time to turn off the activity in order to go to sleep. I admit that it's not an easy process to go through. But if you are like me, sometimes I can get a bit carry-away with my thinking without realizing that many of them were just thoughts. (without a good night sleep, I probably wouldn't be able to do all the things my brain asking me to do). This is just an example of how we often just let the problems be what they are rather than fixing the problems to prevent the consequences. there is always a reason for us to be awake. For me, it was due to my brain's activity. If yours is the same, maybe you can try to calm the mind by acknowledging that worried mind and let the worry go and do not think about it at the moment. If you keep telling yourself that, the mind will be a bit more stable and might let you go to sleep a bit easier.