rain just comes and comes

something definitely happen today..which I find interesting.
Things that could have set me off in fire and could have made me think negatively about a person do not really bother me as much.
I guess I learn repeatedly not to expect anything from others.  With no expectation, there is obviously no disappointment or sadness

rain rain rain

it's raining hard today...it's been raining like this for a long time.  I'm glad it is because we have a drought here!
this also means...fall is coming. the temperature for next week is going to be in the mid-70s. I can't wish for a better temp only that I have to study for a test on Friday! Sweet! huh?
I can't give up now...I've come a long way to give it all up ... I can go on and move forward...even though it's going to be a hard choice... could be an unconventional choice that might lead to no where...
being part of this particular group has given me so much headache even though I don't do anything ( i can't attend meeting/seminar)...I'm just tired in general... So I decide...it's better to leave than to stay...no matter how much i think about it, it's the only way...sorry...but my brain will no longer feeling guilty about not going to the meeting...my feeling will no longer be sad...and should I say sorry...
repeated exposures of certain statements have made me decided...it's the best I can do at this point..

thanks for the rain ^_^


realizing I like this song better ^_^

ki saram

This song is so endearing in so many ways... all I know is...the title of the song: "that person"
A person who makes you cry, makes you laugh, and makes you appreciate your life.  I know I'm very lucky

priority?

in life...there are choices that we make...we all hope with our best judgement, we will make the best choice for the moment (doesn't matter whether it's right or wrong because it's so subjective to the people who perceive it).

I start writing it during the summer time...and for many months, I still haven't finished it.  I guess it doesn't need to be 200 pages ( why fill it w/ lots of words that could be described in less)...

I think I will finish it...

need to prioritize...I guess I really need to listen to my feeling... ^_^

thinking about a friend..

i know i'm supposed to be studying for the test but i can't help but keep thinking about you.
our time together was short.  I met and talked to you occasionally.  I was glad to be able to know and as i learn more about how much you've gone through, I admire your tenacity.  It's more than anyone can imagine.
I personally don't know yet what I should do if I am in your situation.
Meeting you a couple a week ago in the hallway brought both joy and a slight sadness.  You're still upbeat and surrounded with a wonderful and supportive family.  Today I learned about your condition and can only hope you are not suffering as much.  It's a painful process...meeting and departing...

fall is almost here

today i learned an important lesson..."don't let hate and anger dominate your heart because it will drag you down"
for the past couple days, my heavy heart couldn't breath.  I couldn't understand why it acted the way it did.  Just because one person did an honest thing to me, it dragged me down because of false accusation...because I feel that I needed to vindicated myself.  However, it got worse and worse by the day.  Then I realize...it doesn't really matter..I let it go...I know it's not right of what they did but I let it go and live my life.

my life can't revolve around thinking about how to better represent myself...i can't work my life into thinking one day the bad will get what they ask for.

just let it be  ^_^

happy now

it doesn't rain today...

at times...it's better to the way it is...after all...no one wants to get hurt over..and over..and over again...

talking with a smile...

learning to live without expectation...again and again...

...
it's almost like a mask...i smile..
to hide..the pain it takes to cry
over the aching heart scarring with time...

will it rain today?

once in a while...you just realize how lonely this world has become...even when you're surrounded by people  or you're by yourself...solitary is a feeling...not just an environment...

the obstacle in life...

sometimes...people try to break you...try to hunt you down...but then you realize...they can't even look at you in the eyes when they talk to you... guess what ...they're scared...wait and see...i'll get there...nice and square...i'll be there...because i know you won't succeed...

what is it that rings?

It rains..it flows…it floods…

It falls…it pains…it hurts…

It tries…stay still…to stop…

Only…memories it says…

Will stay…

randomness

i run..i breath...i smile
at the sun, the moon, under the sky
i try...get hurt...and cry...
only later to realize
it's such a beautiful life
the lies...the touch...the mind...
in all this heart love lies...

do you ever say what you mean?

what i've learned...
people usually don't say what they mean... and seeing it repeatedly every single day just tires me out.  it's about time to stop coming... it's about time to say good bye maybe for good...yeah it's probably the best way out... i don't belong here in the first place....enough said.

once in a while

one day... i will turn off the phone, switch off the PC and ignore electronic communication...
almost feeling like needing to hide in the forest or somewhere ... such is time....
they said...human interactions can be sometimes toxic because your brain can't switch off the interactive modes...constantly being bombarded with information, interactions...
maybe i should find a temple somewhere to just go and hide there...to regroup...to relearn what i've learned...
tired..