A lesson about self-control

... reading this :what if the secret to success is failure

The article is quite long (but I skimmed through to get the gist of it) and realized that the whole article talks a lot about "self-control".

While the title of the article is "secret to success is failure", the article does not go out to emphasize that failure is a way to success.  Instead, it's more of... when you don't succeed in something or when you know you have to spend more time in doing something or put in more efforts in doing something, you're on your way to success (not a definite but it's a character that you inherently have in order to become a successful person).

This reminds me a lot of what I have to go through every time I go to meditation retreat.  Every sitting is different from the last one.  One has no expectation to have a not-painful sitting. Instead pain is almost always present.  But like Sayadaw said in the closing remark this past weekend, "there will be pain that will not go away, but you learn to live with it".  This is true in every way.  Things in life that we can't change necessarily such as your family or your parents.  Even if you really dislike them, you have to live knowing that you can't change the fact that they are their parents.  You learn to become more tolerable.  (I'm not talking about extreme cases here, so please don't say how about abusive parents.  It's a different issue.  One needs to be wise to act accordingly).

People would probably ask me why I want to mediate at such age. I often question though I didn't I do this earlier.  But such question is not necessary.  The practice does make you seeing desire as an attachment and a burden and that your life revolves around what you want and what you wish instead of what things really are.

One person even asked me whether it is resume building.  I said no and really wanted to say...it's character building.  Imagine a person who wouldn't talk to anyone for a period of time and spend time doing everything by himself.  People said it's hard but they have never tried.  Once they have tried it, what they experience would probably change the way they think, the way they act, and even the way they are.  Human beings have such powerful minds that the minds can do things that we can't even imagine.  If you think you can't sit for an hour, try a bit harder.  If you think you can't depart from your phone for a day, try a bit harder.

I had my phone with me during the retreat but it was put on airplane mode for the entire period during which I had no desire to turn it on and check my mail.  You might wonder why... (I did get home with over hundreds of emails in the inboxes and are still in the process of going through them).  Well, what's the use of going to a retreat with a phone that keeps on ringing?  I always wonder whether I can live without the internet or without a phone.  Indeed you can when you don't have the need to use it.

In our daily life, I need the internet for work.  I need the internet for project.  I need internet for communication and other things.  But I also realize that it's not a necessity because without it, I was still alive.

I think I'm digressing from the original thought... but it just strikes me hard when I read the article that...after numerous painful sitting sessions, you do learn to live with pain and learn to silence some pain but most of all you have gained the mental strengths to overcome any obstacles that come your way.  Why so?  You're not supposed to move when you're in pain.  You are only supposed to look at the pain and observe it, study it, and let it go.  Then another pain will come while the other pain is still present.  What will you do?  You continue to observe, study and let go.  You continue the process until your mind learns that there will be things that it can and cannot control.  And what will you learn?  After all, you're an observer...