post thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was mostly wonderful and eventful (both the positive and negative).
I'm back at school to finish up the semester.  I can't believe that it's almost the end of the first semester of second year.  Time just quickly dissolves....(interesting use of word I assumed)
I was interested in geriatric pharmacy in the past year due to family issues and other things related.  In addition, I also realized the need for geriatric pharmacist is going to be just huge in the future (provided they can afford it or the government is willing to pay for it).  Yesterday, we had a panel of experts coming and talk to us about Palliative Care. I made me wonder a lot about different things.  To some it might be boring, but for a person who has gone through the process, I appreciate the work and the care that these experts were giving to the patients.
However, not every patient is fortunate enough to benefit from Palliative care.  In fact, most probably don't have the opportunities... sometimes in life, you get sidetracked and start wondering about what you want to do in the future.  You start to wonder... hum... what's next... what's next... But to patient who is in Palliative care, they pretty much know what lie ahead of them... but the way to the end sometimes is blurry.  Palliative care provides patient comfort and support to the end of their life.  We all die in the end.  It's just a matter of how we die... We all prefer to pass away in the arms of the loved ones. I remember those childhood dreams about... if I ever died, I hope I would do so before the death of my loved ones so I don't have to suffer the loss of being left behind.  We don't want to be left behind... but in the end we might have to be... and there isn't much we can do.  Would you rather sit and sob until the end of your tears? or would you rather do something while your loved ones suffer?  The speaker talked about compassion fatigue.  I guess it's true.  There was a period of time I wonder... why this had to go one?  why made the other person suffer?  he/she can't talk... their mind can't speak for its own... their eyes aren't bright... their legs can't move.. and... they probably won't feel anything much but pain.. what can you do at this point?  try to soothe their pain, being with them... but... you know you are emotionally drained as well.  Was it well-wished or was it bad-wished? but at some points... I do want things to be over... so that... none of us has to suffer.  Technology has done amazing things... prolonging patients' survival... who would want to die? but... has we thought about... how people would live after they are discharged?  hospital's responsibility is to improve patients' conditions and get patients out of the hospital... hospital's responsibility doesn't include... make patients' life meaningful... what do you do after you save the patient from death.. then .... release him/her... only to realize that this person might suffer from complications, pain... I don't know the answer but as a healthcare provider... we shouldn't turn people away even if...the chance of surviving is slim...we are taught to try our best to help our patients.. but sometimes I wonder would patients be appreciative when they know the road of ahead of them might not be as rosy as they wish...