friday night talk...

It's late... but I need to document this before I forget... or at least before it slips away from me unnoticed.
Had a great dinner (well... the food is okie... not very spectacular but it's okie..it's the companion that counts).  Great dinner followed with great talk.  You never know who you are talking to until... obviously you start talking to them.

I'm glad I was able to talk to her... because she taught me many things even in a "short 3 hours talk."  She gave me such good advices that I feel so lucky to be able to meet people that are so wonderful.

So many times I have doubted my abilities to accomplish something only to accomplish later on.  But then the satisfaction is sometimes short lived because I am then heading to another target.  It's hard to stop when you are driven to strive harder and harder. Sometimes... it's hurtful to hurt yourself because you are being pushed so hard.  In contrast, some people just kind of got it without trying much.  Would you consider yourself not as good?  I would have said yes... and probably would have thought that... I have to be like somebody that ..I might never be.  Slowly though, I start discovering that ...maybe my brain is tricking me :-) .  I don't have to be at the same mountain as other.  I don't have to compare myself with others.  Trust me... it's so easy to say than done.  I don't have to say that..... I need to make a perfect score on this test...as long as I know what I know, it's much more important than getting a perfect score on the test.  Slowly, I start to recognize that being happy with my own abilities is probably the best thing in life.  Only when I find confidence in myself, things will start to make sense and fall into places.  The ability to find peace in oneself is not an easy task because you have to start learning about your mistakes and accepting your mistakes.  You have to look and reflect about what you do more than ever.  And you have to face your inability, your fault, and your imperfection.  It's hard to be happy when all you see is the imperfection.  However, the ability to work on it and improve upon it is just as important.  Slowly... yeah slowly I recognize...finding peace within myself in this competitive environment.

I'm totally blessed with all the opportunities that are presented.  "Embraced"...