It's a lazy Sunday day....
another year.. another goal.. I don't even remember whether I have a new year resolution for last year.. we tend to forget.
It's been a year of traveling. Going to a different country was great. Experiencing new things, learning new things, seeing different perspectives... and what else? People often say, you can take a person out of his/her country, but you can't take a country out of a person. I would prefer the saying you can take a person out of his/her home, but you would not be able to take home out of a person. You can make anywhere home... seriously. You can't take what you have out of you because it's yours. Going to England last summer, I realize we can live pretty much any where but when given a choice, you want to stay at where you prefer the most. It's approaching.. in about 2 and a half year, I will have to decide where I will head next. Whether I would stay in the East, going back to the West, or going to somewhere else completely different...the answer is still unknown. Who knows what will happen in the next year.
I haven't read any book in the last year if I remembered correctly. I still like reading but everytime I browse the bookstore or everytime I pick up a book, similar themes continue to occur. No longer has I found myself immersed in a book like the ones from Dicken. No longer has I found myself eager to pick up a book from Hesse. No longer has I continued to find the desire to pick up another book. I do hope to have a good book to read over and over again. However, I keep picking it up and putting it down. Drama is everywhere. Teen fiction is everywhere. I guess there is a true in every story but yeah I still put them down. No longer is romantic novel appealing. Am I passing the age of experiencing this? Or am I just seeing much and learning much to realize that it is not as it sounds?
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
final is almost over
The brain is very forgiving if you let it be. When I dwell upon something, I consciously do so... but when I decide not to dwell upon something, I also consciously do so.
Maybe being train to do science has done some good... or... maybe not. When you couldn't find a subject, you tend to experience it on yourself and realize.. ah... maybe it's actually working.
Final is almost over. It has not been a very hard semester. I have had harder semester. However, it seemed that memorization is not my best thing. I guess I could memorize something but I couldn't memorize everything in the amount of time and practice. It's hard to be tested on things when you don't much about. But it's okie. I'm not upset about. I was but I'm okie now...
Pharmacists are detailed oriented... and yes... when we are giving tests... our questions tend to be detailed oriented as well...
this summed up a lot of my thoughts about the previous exam... but overall, I'm happy because I've tried my best... without sacrificing my personal health ^_^
until next time...
Maybe being train to do science has done some good... or... maybe not. When you couldn't find a subject, you tend to experience it on yourself and realize.. ah... maybe it's actually working.
Final is almost over. It has not been a very hard semester. I have had harder semester. However, it seemed that memorization is not my best thing. I guess I could memorize something but I couldn't memorize everything in the amount of time and practice. It's hard to be tested on things when you don't much about. But it's okie. I'm not upset about. I was but I'm okie now...
Pharmacists are detailed oriented... and yes... when we are giving tests... our questions tend to be detailed oriented as well...
this summed up a lot of my thoughts about the previous exam... but overall, I'm happy because I've tried my best... without sacrificing my personal health ^_^
until next time...
Sunday, December 13, 2009
random...
Another test is tomorrow... not feeling anxious... I Guess because I'm so used to it by now.. or I don't care much about it anymore :D
It's interesting seeing how people tend to change even in social networking. Noticing breaking up .. making up.. I wonder if I ever dated anyone, would I want to friend this person on my social networking site? probably not, it might make things a lot more awkward when we decide to break up. All of a sudden, friendship no longer exists.
Then there are others who would hide their relationship when it's so obvious... I think it's so cute.. make me remember the older times when things were so different. It's all the in-class gossip. Things are ways more interesting... breaking up? making up? rumors? But... social networking lets people stalk one another..
well I better go to sleep now... gotta wake up early tomorrow ^_^
It's interesting seeing how people tend to change even in social networking. Noticing breaking up .. making up.. I wonder if I ever dated anyone, would I want to friend this person on my social networking site? probably not, it might make things a lot more awkward when we decide to break up. All of a sudden, friendship no longer exists.
Then there are others who would hide their relationship when it's so obvious... I think it's so cute.. make me remember the older times when things were so different. It's all the in-class gossip. Things are ways more interesting... breaking up? making up? rumors? But... social networking lets people stalk one another..
well I better go to sleep now... gotta wake up early tomorrow ^_^
Monday, December 7, 2009
A note
Time in our life...
A friend's grandmother-in-law is now residing in hospice. It must have been hard for her to go through this during final times. I think about the people who have to go through this daily and wonder how life must have been for them. I often reflect on death and think about it as a progress or I must say a step I need to cross someday. Too early for a young person to think about death one may say, but it can come so unexpectedly that I feel there is a need for preparation. You might wonder... what kind of preparation? funeral? burial? ceremony? Actually, these things are not important. I wonder whether a dead person can appreciate the elaborate ceremony and feel important because of it. I wonder whether a dead person can see the nicely built tomb where his body will lay resting. I wonder about what their final thoughts on life would be...
For me, death is very simple. It's the end and also the beginning. The end of a lifetime, and the beginning of another lifetime. It marks the transitional period between this life and the next life. The past should not be a matter of interest because the effects have been done. The future should not be a matter of interest because who knows what lies ahead. As a Buddhist saying, you can only live at the present... you can't live in the past, neither can you live in the future. Treating the last moment of your life as it is might be the best way to confront reality. It might relieve the difficult past that you don't want to remember. It might relieve the anxiety that you have for the future. We tend to cling to our past be it happy or sad to make our departure difficult. We tend to cling to the unfinished business that we want to accomplish. But learning how to let it go... learning how to look at things as it is nature... be it a new birth or a final farewell...things come and go.
I can't talk to you... neither will our religion coincide. I can't tell what you let go the past and stop thinking about the future. Neither can I tell you to be as you are. I only wish if tonight is your last night, may you rest in peace and may you find happiness in wherever you may be.
Farewell to the person whom I've never met...
A friend's grandmother-in-law is now residing in hospice. It must have been hard for her to go through this during final times. I think about the people who have to go through this daily and wonder how life must have been for them. I often reflect on death and think about it as a progress or I must say a step I need to cross someday. Too early for a young person to think about death one may say, but it can come so unexpectedly that I feel there is a need for preparation. You might wonder... what kind of preparation? funeral? burial? ceremony? Actually, these things are not important. I wonder whether a dead person can appreciate the elaborate ceremony and feel important because of it. I wonder whether a dead person can see the nicely built tomb where his body will lay resting. I wonder about what their final thoughts on life would be...
For me, death is very simple. It's the end and also the beginning. The end of a lifetime, and the beginning of another lifetime. It marks the transitional period between this life and the next life. The past should not be a matter of interest because the effects have been done. The future should not be a matter of interest because who knows what lies ahead. As a Buddhist saying, you can only live at the present... you can't live in the past, neither can you live in the future. Treating the last moment of your life as it is might be the best way to confront reality. It might relieve the difficult past that you don't want to remember. It might relieve the anxiety that you have for the future. We tend to cling to our past be it happy or sad to make our departure difficult. We tend to cling to the unfinished business that we want to accomplish. But learning how to let it go... learning how to look at things as it is nature... be it a new birth or a final farewell...things come and go.
I can't talk to you... neither will our religion coincide. I can't tell what you let go the past and stop thinking about the future. Neither can I tell you to be as you are. I only wish if tonight is your last night, may you rest in peace and may you find happiness in wherever you may be.
Farewell to the person whom I've never met...
Sunday, December 6, 2009
late post
Trying to accomplish something this weekend.... well they are nearly half-done but what can I do? there are only 24 hrs in a day, 8 hours for sleep, 4 hours for entertainment, 2-3 hours for eating and other activities, that's left with a few hours for studying with intermittent activities such as : facebooking, reading the tabloids, and learning about the news around the world such as... how many mistresses does Tiger Woods actually have? An international start... and now succumbs to his own success... I wonder... can a person be this....(what word should I use?). Anyway.. it's really none of my business. It just showed that... you will never know the other side of the story. Don't judge and don't expect... don't speculate...:-)
It's almost Christmas... I can't believe I've been here for almost 10 years... wow! It's strange looking back what I've accomplished so far... so much has changed. Receiving a small message from an old best friend warms my heart in the cold morning. I do treasure my friendships and most of the good memories that we have together. I am not going to be sentimental and said... I will also treasure the bad memories as well. I remember them as lessons for many others to come. You always learn from your mistakes when you realize you make ones. Ten years, not too short.. not too long. But it's enough to change a person. It's long enough to make a person grow and mature. The list goes on. :)
A little less than 2 weeks, another semester is gone. I've accomplished... much this semester I guess. Learning how to start a small organization (still in infancy), learning how to handle certain relationship, learning how to listen better (not only to other people but also to myself), learning how to not act so impulsively (still do but a lot less), learning how to control my temper ( yeah I do have bad temper), learning how to treasure what I have...
It's been a busy semester with 7 classes and other extracurricular activities. I do think I'm becoming a workaholic. I can't seem to stop and just keep on finding things to do. Going out and play sometimes make me feel guilty for not doing work (yeah you can laugh but I do feel guilty after each trip). It's a constant reminder that I should always keep working.... (what will I be ten years from now? ) ^_^
anyway... just random thoughts without any structure...
oh.. another friend is getting married very soon. hihi everybody is getting married and settling down now. Looking at myself I realize I still want to roam around for much longer. The freedom is so hard to resist. ^_^. I am happy for all my friends who are married to the person they love. I'm happy for the people who are in love with the loved ones. I'm happy for all the wonderful family that they are creating. All the beautiful babies offer hopes for the future ^_^
good night...
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
post thanksgiving
Thanksgiving was mostly wonderful and eventful (both the positive and negative).
I'm back at school to finish up the semester. I can't believe that it's almost the end of the first semester of second year. Time just quickly dissolves....(interesting use of word I assumed)
I was interested in geriatric pharmacy in the past year due to family issues and other things related. In addition, I also realized the need for geriatric pharmacist is going to be just huge in the future (provided they can afford it or the government is willing to pay for it). Yesterday, we had a panel of experts coming and talk to us about Palliative Care. I made me wonder a lot about different things. To some it might be boring, but for a person who has gone through the process, I appreciate the work and the care that these experts were giving to the patients.
However, not every patient is fortunate enough to benefit from Palliative care. In fact, most probably don't have the opportunities... sometimes in life, you get sidetracked and start wondering about what you want to do in the future. You start to wonder... hum... what's next... what's next... But to patient who is in Palliative care, they pretty much know what lie ahead of them... but the way to the end sometimes is blurry. Palliative care provides patient comfort and support to the end of their life. We all die in the end. It's just a matter of how we die... We all prefer to pass away in the arms of the loved ones. I remember those childhood dreams about... if I ever died, I hope I would do so before the death of my loved ones so I don't have to suffer the loss of being left behind. We don't want to be left behind... but in the end we might have to be... and there isn't much we can do. Would you rather sit and sob until the end of your tears? or would you rather do something while your loved ones suffer? The speaker talked about compassion fatigue. I guess it's true. There was a period of time I wonder... why this had to go one? why made the other person suffer? he/she can't talk... their mind can't speak for its own... their eyes aren't bright... their legs can't move.. and... they probably won't feel anything much but pain.. what can you do at this point? try to soothe their pain, being with them... but... you know you are emotionally drained as well. Was it well-wished or was it bad-wished? but at some points... I do want things to be over... so that... none of us has to suffer. Technology has done amazing things... prolonging patients' survival... who would want to die? but... has we thought about... how people would live after they are discharged? hospital's responsibility is to improve patients' conditions and get patients out of the hospital... hospital's responsibility doesn't include... make patients' life meaningful... what do you do after you save the patient from death.. then .... release him/her... only to realize that this person might suffer from complications, pain... I don't know the answer but as a healthcare provider... we shouldn't turn people away even if...the chance of surviving is slim...we are taught to try our best to help our patients.. but sometimes I wonder would patients be appreciative when they know the road of ahead of them might not be as rosy as they wish...
I'm back at school to finish up the semester. I can't believe that it's almost the end of the first semester of second year. Time just quickly dissolves....(interesting use of word I assumed)
I was interested in geriatric pharmacy in the past year due to family issues and other things related. In addition, I also realized the need for geriatric pharmacist is going to be just huge in the future (provided they can afford it or the government is willing to pay for it). Yesterday, we had a panel of experts coming and talk to us about Palliative Care. I made me wonder a lot about different things. To some it might be boring, but for a person who has gone through the process, I appreciate the work and the care that these experts were giving to the patients.
However, not every patient is fortunate enough to benefit from Palliative care. In fact, most probably don't have the opportunities... sometimes in life, you get sidetracked and start wondering about what you want to do in the future. You start to wonder... hum... what's next... what's next... But to patient who is in Palliative care, they pretty much know what lie ahead of them... but the way to the end sometimes is blurry. Palliative care provides patient comfort and support to the end of their life. We all die in the end. It's just a matter of how we die... We all prefer to pass away in the arms of the loved ones. I remember those childhood dreams about... if I ever died, I hope I would do so before the death of my loved ones so I don't have to suffer the loss of being left behind. We don't want to be left behind... but in the end we might have to be... and there isn't much we can do. Would you rather sit and sob until the end of your tears? or would you rather do something while your loved ones suffer? The speaker talked about compassion fatigue. I guess it's true. There was a period of time I wonder... why this had to go one? why made the other person suffer? he/she can't talk... their mind can't speak for its own... their eyes aren't bright... their legs can't move.. and... they probably won't feel anything much but pain.. what can you do at this point? try to soothe their pain, being with them... but... you know you are emotionally drained as well. Was it well-wished or was it bad-wished? but at some points... I do want things to be over... so that... none of us has to suffer. Technology has done amazing things... prolonging patients' survival... who would want to die? but... has we thought about... how people would live after they are discharged? hospital's responsibility is to improve patients' conditions and get patients out of the hospital... hospital's responsibility doesn't include... make patients' life meaningful... what do you do after you save the patient from death.. then .... release him/her... only to realize that this person might suffer from complications, pain... I don't know the answer but as a healthcare provider... we shouldn't turn people away even if...the chance of surviving is slim...we are taught to try our best to help our patients.. but sometimes I wonder would patients be appreciative when they know the road of ahead of them might not be as rosy as they wish...
Friday, November 20, 2009
pap smear debate
We had our calculation exam today... it went pretty well. I was stuck on one problem because I forgot the formula but all turned out well!! I'm sure I passed!!! ^_^
So we are officially about 5 tests away from winter break. Yes!!!!! Only 5 tests but 3 of them are comprehensive! But it's okie... the next one is Monday, I need to look over some stuffs for the test but I think it shouldn't be too bad. I don't have to get an A on the test... I only need to pass ^_^
Wanting to write about many things but I Guess you can only pick one and save the other for later...
So another day, another guideline. This time, it's about PAP smear. The new guideline recommended that females don't need to have PAP smear until the age of 21. In addition, once they reach 21, they only need to do it every other year. Once they are after 30, they can have their PAP smears every 3 years under a condition that they have 3 continuously normal results.
I don't know whether you have a problem with this but I do! I think physicians need to approach this with care.
Reports indicated that HPV can clear itself without the first 3 years in young female patients without the need of intervention. It's a good news. However, it is still important for young female patients to have their PAP smears. Reports said treatment can result in many pregnancy complications and increase the risk of infections. It can be true. But I still think it's important for young female patients to have their PAP smears done. Why? You may ask! Well, HPV is infectious disease. It can be easily spread from patients to patients. If you don't know that you have HPV, you can unconsciously spreading it. Looking at how HIV was spread in the third world countries where diagnostic tests were not available and accessibility is a problem. By imposing this guideline, the experts might have unconsciously decreased STD awareness. Condom usage could decrease the risk of HPV infection. Yes! So when patients who test positive for PAP smears, it might have an indication that she has not used protective instrument that could help her preventing STD transmission. Where is the patient education coming from? Without getting tested for PAP smear in the three years where they might be extremely sexually active, it might increase their risk of having other STD because they are not aware of the risk associated with unprotective intercourse. What will we see? Will we see an increase in incidence of STD in the future? It is a possibility. Will it pose a public health problem? Possibly. I don't think the experts have thought about other social complications associated with this. Trying to cut cost is not a good way to solve the health care problems. It can worsen the healthcare service if it is implemented incorrectly. Improving the service and patient education might be the way.
So we are officially about 5 tests away from winter break. Yes!!!!! Only 5 tests but 3 of them are comprehensive! But it's okie... the next one is Monday, I need to look over some stuffs for the test but I think it shouldn't be too bad. I don't have to get an A on the test... I only need to pass ^_^
Wanting to write about many things but I Guess you can only pick one and save the other for later...
So another day, another guideline. This time, it's about PAP smear. The new guideline recommended that females don't need to have PAP smear until the age of 21. In addition, once they reach 21, they only need to do it every other year. Once they are after 30, they can have their PAP smears every 3 years under a condition that they have 3 continuously normal results.
I don't know whether you have a problem with this but I do! I think physicians need to approach this with care.
Reports indicated that HPV can clear itself without the first 3 years in young female patients without the need of intervention. It's a good news. However, it is still important for young female patients to have their PAP smears. Reports said treatment can result in many pregnancy complications and increase the risk of infections. It can be true. But I still think it's important for young female patients to have their PAP smears done. Why? You may ask! Well, HPV is infectious disease. It can be easily spread from patients to patients. If you don't know that you have HPV, you can unconsciously spreading it. Looking at how HIV was spread in the third world countries where diagnostic tests were not available and accessibility is a problem. By imposing this guideline, the experts might have unconsciously decreased STD awareness. Condom usage could decrease the risk of HPV infection. Yes! So when patients who test positive for PAP smears, it might have an indication that she has not used protective instrument that could help her preventing STD transmission. Where is the patient education coming from? Without getting tested for PAP smear in the three years where they might be extremely sexually active, it might increase their risk of having other STD because they are not aware of the risk associated with unprotective intercourse. What will we see? Will we see an increase in incidence of STD in the future? It is a possibility. Will it pose a public health problem? Possibly. I don't think the experts have thought about other social complications associated with this. Trying to cut cost is not a good way to solve the health care problems. It can worsen the healthcare service if it is implemented incorrectly. Improving the service and patient education might be the way.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
on birthday
It's another day... well... it's been raining pretty much the whole day but I didn't let the weather dampen my mood a bit ^_^
I just added another year into my life. I am blessed for surviving until this year. I know I am totally lucky!
I am grateful for all the wonderful people in my life. I would not have been the way I am had I not met and learned from them. ^_^ You all are part of my life.
I went to the local senior center with X. to help the seniors signing up for their medicare part D. Unfortunately, there wasn't any clients available. I will come back on Friday though (hopefully I am fully prepared for my exam on Friday Afternoon).
Ran a few errands.. finally got to the bank after a few misses... Returned the backpack that was not built as I expected... then I got home and found a small package on my doorstep...
Tiny package but contained so much love and thoughts. I was completely taken by surprise as I opened the box...no diamonds... no gold... no silver... they are just simply my favorite croissants... I miss them just as much as I miss the beautiful weather and the familiar faces that I will get to see in December...(okie.. I miss the people a whole lot more than the food)... but they are coming from my favorite dessert store... they were shipped express overnight...It was a wonderful feeling knowing that you are cared for. Thank you with all my heart! It made me feel so special :-)
I called co P to say happy birthday to her as well (who would have thought we have the same birthday! ^_^ ) We are like best friends...and yes it is better this way than anything else. I knew had I been her daughter our relationship would not have been like this. I'm glad she's doing well and everything is going great as well.
I called Mom who was on her way with the rest of the family to the beach...I think they forgot it was my birthday. I didn't know why but there has always seemed to be a tension between us no matter what I tried. *sigh*. I can't be the daughter she wanted me to be and I don't want to be the daughter she wanted me to be. We are both stubborn. I guess that is how we are so alike and yes so different. She made a point not to honor my birthday I guess because I followed the solar calendar and to her it's not an appropriate way to do. I don't mind her using her lunar calendar but I couldn't understand why she couldn't honor mine. I am one of the luckiest people on the planet because things always seem to work out very well without much effort. No matter how many times I told her I will be staying here for the summer, it always crosses her mind that I will be with her... no matter how many times I explained to her... she just couldn't grasp the concept that...there is a life that I would like to follow and it might not be the one she has wished me to go. I'm trying to mend the relationship... I'm trying to show her... it is about time for her to understand her children will have their own life and go in directions that they would like to. I guess it's a hard concept because who would like to let go of the things you love. With her repeatedly telling me that I will be with her for the summer make me realize she never listens to me... but that's okie... because it doesn't matter much. She has never listened anyway. It doesn't hurt my feeling, neither will it change anything :-). Things go on and I'm moving on.
Sometimes... when things like this happen, I try to reflect on the purpose of being born, dying, and being reborn again. The cycle never stops unless you do something to stop it. I like my life... and yes I see the suffering. My mom is suffering from me not listening to her. She's suffering from surviving my father. She's suffering from her inability to make differences in her life at the moment. I am sad for her but this is part of life. We are living the life that we create... this makes me wonder what I would like to do. Things are never easy...the cycle continues to roll..
Working with people in my class makes me realize... my reasoning is different from my peers. But it is okie...no one is the same on the surface...
need to hit the bed now...
happy new day! happy new year ! ^_^
I just added another year into my life. I am blessed for surviving until this year. I know I am totally lucky!
I am grateful for all the wonderful people in my life. I would not have been the way I am had I not met and learned from them. ^_^ You all are part of my life.
I went to the local senior center with X. to help the seniors signing up for their medicare part D. Unfortunately, there wasn't any clients available. I will come back on Friday though (hopefully I am fully prepared for my exam on Friday Afternoon).
Ran a few errands.. finally got to the bank after a few misses... Returned the backpack that was not built as I expected... then I got home and found a small package on my doorstep...
Tiny package but contained so much love and thoughts. I was completely taken by surprise as I opened the box...no diamonds... no gold... no silver... they are just simply my favorite croissants... I miss them just as much as I miss the beautiful weather and the familiar faces that I will get to see in December...(okie.. I miss the people a whole lot more than the food)... but they are coming from my favorite dessert store... they were shipped express overnight...It was a wonderful feeling knowing that you are cared for. Thank you with all my heart! It made me feel so special :-)
I called co P to say happy birthday to her as well (who would have thought we have the same birthday! ^_^ ) We are like best friends...and yes it is better this way than anything else. I knew had I been her daughter our relationship would not have been like this. I'm glad she's doing well and everything is going great as well.
I called Mom who was on her way with the rest of the family to the beach...I think they forgot it was my birthday. I didn't know why but there has always seemed to be a tension between us no matter what I tried. *sigh*. I can't be the daughter she wanted me to be and I don't want to be the daughter she wanted me to be. We are both stubborn. I guess that is how we are so alike and yes so different. She made a point not to honor my birthday I guess because I followed the solar calendar and to her it's not an appropriate way to do. I don't mind her using her lunar calendar but I couldn't understand why she couldn't honor mine. I am one of the luckiest people on the planet because things always seem to work out very well without much effort. No matter how many times I told her I will be staying here for the summer, it always crosses her mind that I will be with her... no matter how many times I explained to her... she just couldn't grasp the concept that...there is a life that I would like to follow and it might not be the one she has wished me to go. I'm trying to mend the relationship... I'm trying to show her... it is about time for her to understand her children will have their own life and go in directions that they would like to. I guess it's a hard concept because who would like to let go of the things you love. With her repeatedly telling me that I will be with her for the summer make me realize she never listens to me... but that's okie... because it doesn't matter much. She has never listened anyway. It doesn't hurt my feeling, neither will it change anything :-). Things go on and I'm moving on.
Sometimes... when things like this happen, I try to reflect on the purpose of being born, dying, and being reborn again. The cycle never stops unless you do something to stop it. I like my life... and yes I see the suffering. My mom is suffering from me not listening to her. She's suffering from surviving my father. She's suffering from her inability to make differences in her life at the moment. I am sad for her but this is part of life. We are living the life that we create... this makes me wonder what I would like to do. Things are never easy...the cycle continues to roll..
Working with people in my class makes me realize... my reasoning is different from my peers. But it is okie...no one is the same on the surface...
need to hit the bed now...
happy new day! happy new year ! ^_^
Monday, November 16, 2009
pharmacoecononimic..brief brief..
I'm tired of studying for pulmonary... so I decided to write.
A topic that has been circulating in my head (... yes circulating... this is what happens when you stay in healthcare and start applying medical term in your daily language) is pharmacoeconomics.
I love the idea of integrating pharmacy and economic. In many cases, we have over-used lab work. We spend way too much money ordering unnecessary tests. We also spend a lot of money on medications. However, as much as people hate Pharma... without Pharma, we won't have the world that we have today. People don't live as long and quality of life would not have been as high as it is now. However, when you apply the idea of pharmacoeconomic... you start thinking about the cost of drugs associated with outcomes and decide whether it is worth it to pursue the treatment. The idea bothers me.... can you really put a dollar sign in a patient's survival. Yes, we have ordered many unnecessary tests but some of them have saved life although most of them have gone wasted. Would the few life that we save be worth the cost? I personally don't have the answers but politically it might not be a good choice to do so.
A recent report just came out staying to not use mammogram too early. The report indicated there is no additional benefit in performing mammogram too early. This move will definitely cut medical cost related to breast cancer screening. In addition, report also indicated that self-breast examination offered no benefit. I personally have been taught and yes I don't see the benefit of doing it unless you are extremely sensitive and doing it religiously. It's not discouraging patients to do it. If they feel better doing it, by no means don't stop it. It's just not an easy test to perform and not many people would adhere to the steps that are provided. I wonder.. whether this is one of the first step that the government will come out to try cutting medical cost by making the criteria to be a lot more stringent. Yes, it's cost-saving... but how about the life that could be saved?
As much as I like pharmacoeconomic, I wonder I would ever go into this field. How would I possibly one day decide to cancel a medication because it's not cost effective for the company? I pretty much take away a person's ability to fight for his survival... but again, the attractiveness is there. Figuring out what is the best way to do this... what is the best situation...it's very stimulating.
As for me, I guess if I am diagnosed with a terminal disease, I wonder what I would do... if I knew there is no cure for disease and no matter what my quality of life is going to be extremely low and I become a burden to people around me...I might choose to follow the natural course of the disease because obviously no one would see the person you care suffer. As much as we hope there is a cure, cure is still very far away...
A topic that has been circulating in my head (... yes circulating... this is what happens when you stay in healthcare and start applying medical term in your daily language) is pharmacoeconomics.
I love the idea of integrating pharmacy and economic. In many cases, we have over-used lab work. We spend way too much money ordering unnecessary tests. We also spend a lot of money on medications. However, as much as people hate Pharma... without Pharma, we won't have the world that we have today. People don't live as long and quality of life would not have been as high as it is now. However, when you apply the idea of pharmacoeconomic... you start thinking about the cost of drugs associated with outcomes and decide whether it is worth it to pursue the treatment. The idea bothers me.... can you really put a dollar sign in a patient's survival. Yes, we have ordered many unnecessary tests but some of them have saved life although most of them have gone wasted. Would the few life that we save be worth the cost? I personally don't have the answers but politically it might not be a good choice to do so.
A recent report just came out staying to not use mammogram too early. The report indicated there is no additional benefit in performing mammogram too early. This move will definitely cut medical cost related to breast cancer screening. In addition, report also indicated that self-breast examination offered no benefit. I personally have been taught and yes I don't see the benefit of doing it unless you are extremely sensitive and doing it religiously. It's not discouraging patients to do it. If they feel better doing it, by no means don't stop it. It's just not an easy test to perform and not many people would adhere to the steps that are provided. I wonder.. whether this is one of the first step that the government will come out to try cutting medical cost by making the criteria to be a lot more stringent. Yes, it's cost-saving... but how about the life that could be saved?
As much as I like pharmacoeconomic, I wonder I would ever go into this field. How would I possibly one day decide to cancel a medication because it's not cost effective for the company? I pretty much take away a person's ability to fight for his survival... but again, the attractiveness is there. Figuring out what is the best way to do this... what is the best situation...it's very stimulating.
As for me, I guess if I am diagnosed with a terminal disease, I wonder what I would do... if I knew there is no cure for disease and no matter what my quality of life is going to be extremely low and I become a burden to people around me...I might choose to follow the natural course of the disease because obviously no one would see the person you care suffer. As much as we hope there is a cure, cure is still very far away...
Friday, November 13, 2009
random hearing... vibram experience
It's so nice to have a Friday off. I'm so glad that I took the OSCE on Wednesday instead of Friday. Things can't be better than this. I think it justifies me taking Wednesday morning lab for next semester. Anyhow... dinner was interesting.
I went out for dinner instead of dining in *it's just part of laziness*
Sitting next to the table at which the daughter was in a heated conversion with her father. It was because of Thanksgiving. It's interesting how much you know about the person by just being a passerby. Her father lived in Florida and their plan was to visit grandpa for Thanksgiving. However, they didn't want to live in Grandpa's house... and it made him really mad. He decided that if they didn't want to live in his house, no point in coming. So.. the end of stories...they will not come down to Florida for Thanksgiving because of this. The family said the kid would bring a lot of toys and there will be no room for it. I wonder.. how much toys the kid would bring? there is only one kid! needless to say, I wonder what I would do if it happened to me. I knew it's hard to live with your parents once you have lived so far away. At least, I knew sometimes my Mom kind of bothered me a little when I tried to explain to her several times and she still asked the same questions. Not only this, she's just too smart that I have to think about why she said what she said to avoid being put into situations in which I can't find my ways out. Such is our relationship. Isn't it funny when you have to do that? It's because your mom is so clever! :)
I went to get card to mail to the staffs at the hospital I was at last summer for Thanksgiving. It's so fast... in less than 2 weeks, I will be on plane going away again. I miss flying and traveling. I miss the experience of coming home after a long trip.
Walking to the outdoor shop, I found a few pair of sandals that my sisters really like. So I bought each a pair... and one for myself. They are 50% off. So I think it's okie. I tried on the Vibram Shoes.
It's an interesting shoeware I have to say. The feel is very different. It's almost like you walking bare-feet but not.. bare-feet actually. I'm contemplating about getting this for my birthday! ^_^ I guess it works! I've been running... indoor a lot since the beginning of the semester. And I start to like my open toe shoes a lot more than my close-toe shoes. There is something about having my toes seeing the world that makes everything feels so much better and fresher. If I do get it.. I will post a picture! If you don't want to buy them, trying them on will definitely be a different and interesting experience.
Anyway.. I finish going over some of the notes for pulmonary... we have another test next week.
Busy weekend! But.. the highlight is: I'm going to go to dimsum this Sunday! yay! I love dimsum even though it always gives me heartburn afterward. Once in a while it's okie! yes heartburn... i noticed it from time to time...pretty bad I would say
irb.. writing
I don't think I've been up this late for a long time...
I guess when you promise something, it's hard to pass the commitment. Maybe that's the reason why I find it hard to commit to anything. I had hard time deciding whether going to the cafeteria with group of friend or stayed in with another group of friends. God knows what was going through my mind.
I finish the first draft for my IRB. It wasn't easy because... I have never written one before. Even though it's just writing, it's the audience that is different. It's no longer being a graded paper. It is now a proposal for a study. It is no longer read by a TA who might or might not have a cup of coffee before he dived into a 10-page essays. It is now read by our faculties... people who teach me classes. Anxiety? yeah... scariness? yeah.. but completing it is satisfactory and it's worth so much more. ^_^
I guess it's important to find what you like and if possible develop it to a skill that can help you in the future. I like writing even though not a terrific writer. But I know with practice, things will get better. In fact, with just being careful, things will get better. How many times have I overlooked something? Too many too count. Simple things aren't often obvious.
But I also realize... even as a pharmacist, there is a niche for writer. I will keep it in mind and learn more about whatever opportunities there are.
It stops raining for a bit now but the wind is blowing hard. I'm fortunate to be sheltered in the warm house. How many people are as fortunate as I am?
Living in this part of the country, I've learned to deal with different types of weather. Reading from a friend's page "If you think sunshine brings you happiness, you haven't danced in the rain".
It's such a wonderful quote. What can bring you happiness but yourself? :) I remembered the walk uphill was hard in the beginning, the feeling of tiredness was undeniable but eventually these feelings are long gone. Whether it is a sunny day with an unimaginable humidity or an extremely windy and cold condition, who can really take the sparkle in the eyes? it's all about perspective... and perspective changes with time...
I guess when you promise something, it's hard to pass the commitment. Maybe that's the reason why I find it hard to commit to anything. I had hard time deciding whether going to the cafeteria with group of friend or stayed in with another group of friends. God knows what was going through my mind.
I finish the first draft for my IRB. It wasn't easy because... I have never written one before. Even though it's just writing, it's the audience that is different. It's no longer being a graded paper. It is now a proposal for a study. It is no longer read by a TA who might or might not have a cup of coffee before he dived into a 10-page essays. It is now read by our faculties... people who teach me classes. Anxiety? yeah... scariness? yeah.. but completing it is satisfactory and it's worth so much more. ^_^
I guess it's important to find what you like and if possible develop it to a skill that can help you in the future. I like writing even though not a terrific writer. But I know with practice, things will get better. In fact, with just being careful, things will get better. How many times have I overlooked something? Too many too count. Simple things aren't often obvious.
But I also realize... even as a pharmacist, there is a niche for writer. I will keep it in mind and learn more about whatever opportunities there are.
It stops raining for a bit now but the wind is blowing hard. I'm fortunate to be sheltered in the warm house. How many people are as fortunate as I am?
Living in this part of the country, I've learned to deal with different types of weather. Reading from a friend's page "If you think sunshine brings you happiness, you haven't danced in the rain".
It's such a wonderful quote. What can bring you happiness but yourself? :) I remembered the walk uphill was hard in the beginning, the feeling of tiredness was undeniable but eventually these feelings are long gone. Whether it is a sunny day with an unimaginable humidity or an extremely windy and cold condition, who can really take the sparkle in the eyes? it's all about perspective... and perspective changes with time...
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
OSCE and the like..
and my blogging continues...
I had my OSCE this morning... it went well or at least I think it did. It's over now. I also finished the DI take home exam. It took a while to finish because I didn't know what she really wanted us to write... so I was just writing down things I think are important. :)
All the patients were nice at the OSCE or at least I think they were. A couple of them I think were even more nervous than I was for some reasons. One of the ladies were just too hyper. Overall, it was a good experience ^_^
So what is OSCE? It's a patient interview or the clinical portion of our curriculum. Each student needs to pass this every semester in order for us to graduate. This semester, we are required to counsel patients on medications and devices that we've learned throughout the semester. There are about 60 of them or more but Ms. D was nice enough to cut them down for us *big big big kudos*. This is our first OSCE...so most of us were very nervous. But ... it was good and I'm glad we have a chance to do this in school. Better makes mistakes in the classroom than in real life ^_^.
We all got there before 8 am ( I woke up around 6:20 in order to get ready for the exam). It was raining but I love every minute of it. We were given a tag with our ID and password on it. At about 7:50, we were led to a room to get the instruction from the coordinator who was pretty funny. Then we were discharged into our station. At 8 am, a big announcer told us to log in and continue the encounter... yes they call it an encounter. I looked at the prescription and started to synthesize all the materials that I've learned from the past. A knock on the door and there I was... I started talking and talking... before my patient had a chance to repeat what they need to say... I ran out of time. I don't know whether I will be graded on this but hey... it's okie! It went better than I thought.
It's raining hard today. For some reasons, I felt the rain and the cold wind were just refreshing. It was bitter cold as I walked down the road but... it was okie because I knew where I was heading. I guess when you know where you want to go and which direction to take, things are not as scary as it should be.
Too much to do.. too little time.. but i'm hanging in there and trying my best...
I talked to P. today. I was nice talking to her after a long time. Listening to her voice and wondering what will happen in the next few years.... when let's say I graduate... and when she moves on and probably will be retired. Many accidental encounters have been more than wonderful.... I'm not going to count my blessings because... there are too many... and it's nice necessary to do so. Just take it as it is... and learn to continue to learn, to continue to try and make the best out of all the given opportunities... because had I not taken the opportunities in the first place.. who knew where I would end up? :)
back to kinetic
I had my OSCE this morning... it went well or at least I think it did. It's over now. I also finished the DI take home exam. It took a while to finish because I didn't know what she really wanted us to write... so I was just writing down things I think are important. :)
All the patients were nice at the OSCE or at least I think they were. A couple of them I think were even more nervous than I was for some reasons. One of the ladies were just too hyper. Overall, it was a good experience ^_^
So what is OSCE? It's a patient interview or the clinical portion of our curriculum. Each student needs to pass this every semester in order for us to graduate. This semester, we are required to counsel patients on medications and devices that we've learned throughout the semester. There are about 60 of them or more but Ms. D was nice enough to cut them down for us *big big big kudos*. This is our first OSCE...so most of us were very nervous. But ... it was good and I'm glad we have a chance to do this in school. Better makes mistakes in the classroom than in real life ^_^.
We all got there before 8 am ( I woke up around 6:20 in order to get ready for the exam). It was raining but I love every minute of it. We were given a tag with our ID and password on it. At about 7:50, we were led to a room to get the instruction from the coordinator who was pretty funny. Then we were discharged into our station. At 8 am, a big announcer told us to log in and continue the encounter... yes they call it an encounter. I looked at the prescription and started to synthesize all the materials that I've learned from the past. A knock on the door and there I was... I started talking and talking... before my patient had a chance to repeat what they need to say... I ran out of time. I don't know whether I will be graded on this but hey... it's okie! It went better than I thought.
It's raining hard today. For some reasons, I felt the rain and the cold wind were just refreshing. It was bitter cold as I walked down the road but... it was okie because I knew where I was heading. I guess when you know where you want to go and which direction to take, things are not as scary as it should be.
Too much to do.. too little time.. but i'm hanging in there and trying my best...
I talked to P. today. I was nice talking to her after a long time. Listening to her voice and wondering what will happen in the next few years.... when let's say I graduate... and when she moves on and probably will be retired. Many accidental encounters have been more than wonderful.... I'm not going to count my blessings because... there are too many... and it's nice necessary to do so. Just take it as it is... and learn to continue to learn, to continue to try and make the best out of all the given opportunities... because had I not taken the opportunities in the first place.. who knew where I would end up? :)
back to kinetic
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
update OSCE
I want to write so much but I don't have time to spend writing it... I wish I had more time.
I'm so happy that December is coming soon. There will be nothing like coming home for Christmas (even thoug I'm not sure where I call home anymore)
School has been busy. 3 tests this week. I'm glad I went over all the techniques this Monday and Ms. D. has been extremely nice. Things will be good for OSCE tomorrow!! I just need to make sure I wake up on time... and don't be late for OSCE
It's raining hard outside... it will be raining hard tomorrow as well. Let's hope that I won't be freezing trying to reach to the destination. I know open toe shoes might not be recommended but this is the only thing I would love to wear in the raining days. Plus... a lot of pharmacist wear open toes shoes. I don't think it's a big issue. I'm not in lab!!!
I love our therapy module. I learn a lot. I'm learning to detach myself and assessing myself from grades. It has become quite irrelevant to me at this point. I know what I know. I don't know what the instructors know. The instructors don't know what I know. The whole 25 questions test is a big mess. It has no value and I will sure to make it to the evaluation. If you want to assess us, assess us fairly. Don't try to give us 100+ slides and give us 25 questions on these slides when 2 questions might be off from the same slide.
I can't be happier... I think I pass!
Pharmacy school can be both love and hate I guess :)
I'm so happy that December is coming soon. There will be nothing like coming home for Christmas (even thoug I'm not sure where I call home anymore)
School has been busy. 3 tests this week. I'm glad I went over all the techniques this Monday and Ms. D. has been extremely nice. Things will be good for OSCE tomorrow!! I just need to make sure I wake up on time... and don't be late for OSCE
It's raining hard outside... it will be raining hard tomorrow as well. Let's hope that I won't be freezing trying to reach to the destination. I know open toe shoes might not be recommended but this is the only thing I would love to wear in the raining days. Plus... a lot of pharmacist wear open toes shoes. I don't think it's a big issue. I'm not in lab!!!
I love our therapy module. I learn a lot. I'm learning to detach myself and assessing myself from grades. It has become quite irrelevant to me at this point. I know what I know. I don't know what the instructors know. The instructors don't know what I know. The whole 25 questions test is a big mess. It has no value and I will sure to make it to the evaluation. If you want to assess us, assess us fairly. Don't try to give us 100+ slides and give us 25 questions on these slides when 2 questions might be off from the same slide.
I can't be happier... I think I pass!
Pharmacy school can be both love and hate I guess :)
Sunday, November 8, 2009
two am post...
it's almost two am ...
With 3 impending tests next week... I wonder.. why in the world do they have a schedule like this? oh well... can't complain because nothing is going to change. At least, I'm almost done studying for one of them... but just hope I remember all the structures :D
I had something in mind but would probably wait until all is done.
Only a few more weeks than I'll be done with this semester. It's going by so fast. I'm counting down... 6 more weeks then I'm half way done being a PY2.
All the anxiety that occupied me a year and a half ago seemed to be gone now. it's hard to go back to school after you've been gone for a while... you start doubting yourself... you start wondering whether you can make it through the first semester. But interestingly, I probably spent time studying a lot more than when I was an undergrad. Things work out nicely and they will all be fine. :)
I wrote a post about recent health care debate... but... it was deleted when my computer decided to turn off by itself...it's the wonderful world of technology...
Anyway... I just can't wait until the end of this semester... 6 more weeks... but only about 5 more weeks of classes... Yay!
With 3 impending tests next week... I wonder.. why in the world do they have a schedule like this? oh well... can't complain because nothing is going to change. At least, I'm almost done studying for one of them... but just hope I remember all the structures :D
I had something in mind but would probably wait until all is done.
Only a few more weeks than I'll be done with this semester. It's going by so fast. I'm counting down... 6 more weeks then I'm half way done being a PY2.
All the anxiety that occupied me a year and a half ago seemed to be gone now. it's hard to go back to school after you've been gone for a while... you start doubting yourself... you start wondering whether you can make it through the first semester. But interestingly, I probably spent time studying a lot more than when I was an undergrad. Things work out nicely and they will all be fine. :)
I wrote a post about recent health care debate... but... it was deleted when my computer decided to turn off by itself...it's the wonderful world of technology...
Anyway... I just can't wait until the end of this semester... 6 more weeks... but only about 5 more weeks of classes... Yay!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
on obstacle...
Being.. a strangely crazy person...
I guess I'm very lucky...I know people who are luckier and yes sometimes I did questions how they become so luck. But I have no less luck.
I was born and raised with enough comfort of material and financial situations. Got my first paycheck when I was 18 and realized making money is hard work. I wonder how people do it. I guess when I was younger, I never gave much thought about money because I didn't use a lot of them most of the time. Only when you started having expenses, money became an issue.
I hate to admit but sometimes things fall into places without you having to plan for it. Planning is part of the process but... letting things be as they are is something I need to learn.
Reading a post from a very distant friend and learning about what she had to go through, I realized my life is so much rosier. Even though my Dad is no longer here, the good memories will always be here in my heart. Even though it was a sad departure, his passing away has given us chance to realize that nothing lasts forever. Even in his death, he had done something that none of us could have done. He brought the people who had fought with each other for the last ten years together. He gave us a new perspective on things. I guess I'm becoming more positive and seeing lights in different angles.
I am fortunate enough to have a positive and good relationship with my loved ones. I know many don't. Some have taken other to courts. Some have killed others over small things. Some have denounced their biological strings altogether. I guess it's ok to do so. There is nothing wrong in doing that if a person deems it as appropriate. But for once, I just hope they one day realize what they are going through right now is the foundation, a step for them to be a stronger and better person than they already are. Strange as it sounds, you do become stronger with whatever obstacles you've overcome. Take it as a positive force to move forward... even though you are hurt inside...even though you might have to do it in tearful departures...you will if not are a stronger person.
I guess I'm very lucky...I know people who are luckier and yes sometimes I did questions how they become so luck. But I have no less luck.
I was born and raised with enough comfort of material and financial situations. Got my first paycheck when I was 18 and realized making money is hard work. I wonder how people do it. I guess when I was younger, I never gave much thought about money because I didn't use a lot of them most of the time. Only when you started having expenses, money became an issue.
I hate to admit but sometimes things fall into places without you having to plan for it. Planning is part of the process but... letting things be as they are is something I need to learn.
Reading a post from a very distant friend and learning about what she had to go through, I realized my life is so much rosier. Even though my Dad is no longer here, the good memories will always be here in my heart. Even though it was a sad departure, his passing away has given us chance to realize that nothing lasts forever. Even in his death, he had done something that none of us could have done. He brought the people who had fought with each other for the last ten years together. He gave us a new perspective on things. I guess I'm becoming more positive and seeing lights in different angles.
I am fortunate enough to have a positive and good relationship with my loved ones. I know many don't. Some have taken other to courts. Some have killed others over small things. Some have denounced their biological strings altogether. I guess it's ok to do so. There is nothing wrong in doing that if a person deems it as appropriate. But for once, I just hope they one day realize what they are going through right now is the foundation, a step for them to be a stronger and better person than they already are. Strange as it sounds, you do become stronger with whatever obstacles you've overcome. Take it as a positive force to move forward... even though you are hurt inside...even though you might have to do it in tearful departures...you will if not are a stronger person.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
elderly...coupledhood
Learning about the elder adults...
I had/have an interest in learning more about older adults. Started enrolling in an aging class. We learned about different aspects of aging. What is the myth and what is the truth. Yesterday discussion was about couplehood. I wonder... well, here in the US, in the culture that we live in, getting married and divorce are quite common. The rate has slowed down but in comparison to my knowledge in another country, it's a lot higher. I guess living and being raised in a different cultures did have big impacts on you on some aspects. I was ingrained in my brain that the relationship between husband and wife were never equal. Having the freedom that I have now refrain me from settling down and starting a family. But it's a different issue.
One of the questions that was raised in the class was : why would you want to get married? Who would be the best person to get married with? Majority answer: you get married because of companionship.. you get married to somebody that you can share your love and hate and many other things in life. You get married in order to be complete. I guess they are legitimate reasons. One thing I never thought of... people still enjoyed sexual relationship even when they got a lot older. They were still sexually active until the age of 60 or 70. The performance decreased significantly but medications and medical devices are readily available to enhance the performance. I guess for some people, it's part of their quality of life. without it, life would not be very complete or meaningful.
Thinking about the people around me, the people that I know, I don't think I have seen them remarried. Most stay as they are : single. Single handedly raised their children to success.
It's interesting to see how diversely people can react when given the same situations. I don't know what I'll do :D and I'm not sure whether I will reach that state to even contemplate.
I guess as long as they are happy... whatever works :)
I had/have an interest in learning more about older adults. Started enrolling in an aging class. We learned about different aspects of aging. What is the myth and what is the truth. Yesterday discussion was about couplehood. I wonder... well, here in the US, in the culture that we live in, getting married and divorce are quite common. The rate has slowed down but in comparison to my knowledge in another country, it's a lot higher. I guess living and being raised in a different cultures did have big impacts on you on some aspects. I was ingrained in my brain that the relationship between husband and wife were never equal. Having the freedom that I have now refrain me from settling down and starting a family. But it's a different issue.
One of the questions that was raised in the class was : why would you want to get married? Who would be the best person to get married with? Majority answer: you get married because of companionship.. you get married to somebody that you can share your love and hate and many other things in life. You get married in order to be complete. I guess they are legitimate reasons. One thing I never thought of... people still enjoyed sexual relationship even when they got a lot older. They were still sexually active until the age of 60 or 70. The performance decreased significantly but medications and medical devices are readily available to enhance the performance. I guess for some people, it's part of their quality of life. without it, life would not be very complete or meaningful.
Thinking about the people around me, the people that I know, I don't think I have seen them remarried. Most stay as they are : single. Single handedly raised their children to success.
It's interesting to see how diversely people can react when given the same situations. I don't know what I'll do :D and I'm not sure whether I will reach that state to even contemplate.
I guess as long as they are happy... whatever works :)
Monday, November 2, 2009
napping time...
I should be studying... well I was.. so I'm taking a break probably more frequent than I need to.
It's getting a little bit crazy now but it's okie. Things will calm down in a few weeks... they will arrive soon enough.
I've discovered the power of napping. In Vietnam, people tend to take afternoon nap. I never did because I never had time to do so. Running from different places never allowed me time to nap. I never developed a habit of afternoon nap either. But recently, I've discovered that napping really gives me a lot of energy.
I nap when I feel tired. A 30 minutes nap is so refreshing. It takes about 5 minutes for you to start feeling the effect after the nap but it's so well worth it. When my brain gets so wired and tired, a 15 minutes nap would do it.
We learn something interesting in class today...old folks are so smart..."there is a saying... if you watched a lot of kungfu drama show: it takes a poison to rid of another poison..." well, for organophosphate which can be toxic to human due to its ability to bind to Acetylcholine esterase is often resolved when administered or given carbamate ( compound that can compete with organophosphate to bind to acetylcholine esterase). Both of them, given in excess can be dangerous. But organophosphate is a lot more toxic due to its ability to bind irreversible with Acetylcholine esterase. I guess, the older folks don't need to learn about medicinal chemistry to talk about what's happening in nature ^-^
The more I learn, the more I realize, there are a lot of merits in the old saying...
I remember somebody told me that : it's not good to announce your pregnancy too early... wait for about 2 or 3 months or so. Well, the truth is, spontaneous abortion is very common. So even if you are tested positive for pregnancy, there is a high chance that your fetus won't be able to survive due to spontaneous abortion in the first few weeks. So... here you go! :)
anyway... I should get back to studying...
It's getting a little bit crazy now but it's okie. Things will calm down in a few weeks... they will arrive soon enough.
I've discovered the power of napping. In Vietnam, people tend to take afternoon nap. I never did because I never had time to do so. Running from different places never allowed me time to nap. I never developed a habit of afternoon nap either. But recently, I've discovered that napping really gives me a lot of energy.
I nap when I feel tired. A 30 minutes nap is so refreshing. It takes about 5 minutes for you to start feeling the effect after the nap but it's so well worth it. When my brain gets so wired and tired, a 15 minutes nap would do it.
We learn something interesting in class today...old folks are so smart..."there is a saying... if you watched a lot of kungfu drama show: it takes a poison to rid of another poison..." well, for organophosphate which can be toxic to human due to its ability to bind to Acetylcholine esterase is often resolved when administered or given carbamate ( compound that can compete with organophosphate to bind to acetylcholine esterase). Both of them, given in excess can be dangerous. But organophosphate is a lot more toxic due to its ability to bind irreversible with Acetylcholine esterase. I guess, the older folks don't need to learn about medicinal chemistry to talk about what's happening in nature ^-^
The more I learn, the more I realize, there are a lot of merits in the old saying...
I remember somebody told me that : it's not good to announce your pregnancy too early... wait for about 2 or 3 months or so. Well, the truth is, spontaneous abortion is very common. So even if you are tested positive for pregnancy, there is a high chance that your fetus won't be able to survive due to spontaneous abortion in the first few weeks. So... here you go! :)
anyway... I should get back to studying...
Sunday, November 1, 2009
rainy day...
It's been raining...
the weather is unpredictable as a woman. One day, it can be extremely cold. The next day, humidity set in with the coming rain to increase the temperature. What can I say?
Hearing about motherhood... I can't imagine what it might have meant.
Volunteering yesterday at SPA, seeing all the kids in cute costumes walking in with their parents, I secretly think every child deserves a happy childhood no matter where they are. I did face painting for the kids. It was my first time so haha the result wasn't so good. I didn't even what to use. But everything with color was good enough for the kid. There was this little girl who was just about 15 months old. She kept coming back to my table. She even let me hold her for a while. Her parents thought that it was great because she was a shy little girl. She was so cute though. I had a great time there. Maybe I'll do it again next year.
Hearing about a friend's labor... I wonder whether I want to go through this. It sounds so hard... I appreciate and applaud all the moms in the world. It must have been hard especially with the first one. I'm a little bit chicken so I'll save these for a lot later time. ;D
Ladybugs are coming back already. I looked at them and wondered how long they get to live. She was just alive and kicking yesterday. They are beautiful creatures. I live with a lot of bugs. Most of them don't bother me so much. Things come and go. They tend to be active at certain times and not at other times. Most of all they just want some food and a place to stay.
Talking about bugs... my traveling bug is starting to kick in. I want to be back in the sky and fly away again. Whether it is a mean of escape, I don't know. The idea of settling or being stationary is not here at this time. But who knows it can change in a month! :D
I can't wait until the break. it's November already ^-^.
good weekend!
the weather is unpredictable as a woman. One day, it can be extremely cold. The next day, humidity set in with the coming rain to increase the temperature. What can I say?
Hearing about motherhood... I can't imagine what it might have meant.
Volunteering yesterday at SPA, seeing all the kids in cute costumes walking in with their parents, I secretly think every child deserves a happy childhood no matter where they are. I did face painting for the kids. It was my first time so haha the result wasn't so good. I didn't even what to use. But everything with color was good enough for the kid. There was this little girl who was just about 15 months old. She kept coming back to my table. She even let me hold her for a while. Her parents thought that it was great because she was a shy little girl. She was so cute though. I had a great time there. Maybe I'll do it again next year.
Hearing about a friend's labor... I wonder whether I want to go through this. It sounds so hard... I appreciate and applaud all the moms in the world. It must have been hard especially with the first one. I'm a little bit chicken so I'll save these for a lot later time. ;D
Ladybugs are coming back already. I looked at them and wondered how long they get to live. She was just alive and kicking yesterday. They are beautiful creatures. I live with a lot of bugs. Most of them don't bother me so much. Things come and go. They tend to be active at certain times and not at other times. Most of all they just want some food and a place to stay.
Talking about bugs... my traveling bug is starting to kick in. I want to be back in the sky and fly away again. Whether it is a mean of escape, I don't know. The idea of settling or being stationary is not here at this time. But who knows it can change in a month! :D
I can't wait until the break. it's November already ^-^.
good weekend!
Friday, October 30, 2009
random things about interviewing...
A friend recently forwarded the article talking about google's hiring process. It talked about how employees who didn't do well during the interview ended up doing better than employees who did well during the interview.
It's very interesting because our pharmacy school was thinking about using an diagnostic test to screen students and use it as a part of an admission process. Although I don't know how the result is yet, but I really disagree with the process. I just don't think you can evaluate a person based on a single test and used it as an important criteria. A person is much more than a number.
Maybe it is about time for us to define " what is an interview?"
At least for me, an interview is a chance for both sides to learn more about one another. It's not a one way process. It has to be two ways. How would a test be able to determine whether a person is compatible with the company? How would a test develop by outside company be used to determine whether a person should be employed at a different company? It is so irrelevant. A test does not tell you much about a person. If accurate, it might tell you whether a person belongs to the norm population in which the test was developed. that's all it can say. It doesn't tell you much about a person's personality or anything else. You have to see a person and believe in what you feel about a person before making any judgement.
I think a lot of companies are deviating from this process.
If you want a problem solver, gives them a problem. If you want a technical writer, let them write.
I went and interviewed at one of the schools in 2008. Writing is an important skill that everyone should learn and be good at. I understand this. Quite a few number of school require writing assessment during the interview process. It's understandable. However, the writing assessment has not caught up to date with what is happening in the real world! They assess our writing technique by making us write on paper. Guess what? This represented many problems! First: if your hand writing is bad, you are probably looked at as one of those who couldn't write straight. Second: if your hand writing is incomprehensible, the readers can't understand what you write. Third: it's so old-school. I understand we should learn how to write with pencil and pen, but writing essay with pencil and pen is unnecessary in this stage of age. The admission committee used hand written essays as a way to evaluate people. Then later told me that a large percentage of students could not write even with computer! Okie seriously... maybe they should ask student to write with pens and papers because it will be correlating well with the admission criteria. So my suggestion would be: evaluating writing skill with what you will be requiring students to do in school.
Same thing should happen when people are interviewed for jobs. Need to know what a person should know what to do, test them that! Don't be a robot and put a number in front of a person and identify a person or characterize a person by this number... we are human not robot!
I think trusting your instinct... and your feeling about the place maybe the best way to evaluate. Sometimes you just need that in order to determine whether it will be a good fit.
So I'm excited about my interview today at the DI department in the hospital. I have good feeling about people who work there. They are so friendly and understanding. ^-^ Hopefully I will be able to intern there next semester. :)
It's very interesting because our pharmacy school was thinking about using an diagnostic test to screen students and use it as a part of an admission process. Although I don't know how the result is yet, but I really disagree with the process. I just don't think you can evaluate a person based on a single test and used it as an important criteria. A person is much more than a number.
Maybe it is about time for us to define " what is an interview?"
At least for me, an interview is a chance for both sides to learn more about one another. It's not a one way process. It has to be two ways. How would a test be able to determine whether a person is compatible with the company? How would a test develop by outside company be used to determine whether a person should be employed at a different company? It is so irrelevant. A test does not tell you much about a person. If accurate, it might tell you whether a person belongs to the norm population in which the test was developed. that's all it can say. It doesn't tell you much about a person's personality or anything else. You have to see a person and believe in what you feel about a person before making any judgement.
I think a lot of companies are deviating from this process.
If you want a problem solver, gives them a problem. If you want a technical writer, let them write.
I went and interviewed at one of the schools in 2008. Writing is an important skill that everyone should learn and be good at. I understand this. Quite a few number of school require writing assessment during the interview process. It's understandable. However, the writing assessment has not caught up to date with what is happening in the real world! They assess our writing technique by making us write on paper. Guess what? This represented many problems! First: if your hand writing is bad, you are probably looked at as one of those who couldn't write straight. Second: if your hand writing is incomprehensible, the readers can't understand what you write. Third: it's so old-school. I understand we should learn how to write with pencil and pen, but writing essay with pencil and pen is unnecessary in this stage of age. The admission committee used hand written essays as a way to evaluate people. Then later told me that a large percentage of students could not write even with computer! Okie seriously... maybe they should ask student to write with pens and papers because it will be correlating well with the admission criteria. So my suggestion would be: evaluating writing skill with what you will be requiring students to do in school.
Same thing should happen when people are interviewed for jobs. Need to know what a person should know what to do, test them that! Don't be a robot and put a number in front of a person and identify a person or characterize a person by this number... we are human not robot!
I think trusting your instinct... and your feeling about the place maybe the best way to evaluate. Sometimes you just need that in order to determine whether it will be a good fit.
So I'm excited about my interview today at the DI department in the hospital. I have good feeling about people who work there. They are so friendly and understanding. ^-^ Hopefully I will be able to intern there next semester. :)
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
In memory
I was wondering...whether I should write this in English or should I write it in Vietnamese... Whichever flows better I guess.
A year has passed. To me, today is your memorial day. So much have changed Dad. My hair grows longer. (But I recently had it cut a little bit shorter by noone other than D. He's practicing his skill, so I volunteered to be an experimental subject). The cut wasn't perfect but at least he tried. And this is what you taught us all through your life. Although my hair grows longer, I don't get any taller except for when I wear high heels which hurt my ankles every time. Life is good here but very busy. I'm taking on different projects. As usual, I'm stretching myself probably more than I should have. But it's so usual that it's not uncommon to do so. Whether it is a bad idea, I don't know. I just think I become more workaholic with a long to-do list. Trying to put a strike through each of them is my every day task. I wonder what you would say if you were still here. Crazy little girl? Probably. That's what most people said. I'm used to it. Without the "busy-ness", things aren't excited as they would be. Maybe that's what I'm after... or maybe I'm just running from one thing to the other... trying to catch a glimpse of everything.
I'm in my second year now. I've tried to explore different facets that are available. Kind of narrowing it down bit by bit, but everything is up in the air at this point. I really love the idea of doing transplant. It's a fascinating field. It offers many things that I consider important: patient contact, pharmacotherapy, innovation, ability to work independently etc. However, I kept thinking about what I would be like to be working with patients whose chance of survival might not be great. and whether it will remind me of you and of how you couldn't get the benefit of the technological advance. There comes oncology. Having been going through what their families have gone through... it's easier for me to relate to them. You probably would have said the same. As much as I see a lot of opportunities in Am Care, there are still uncertainty about whether I should do it. The pace is good and you do help a lot of patients. In fact, most of your patients aren't critically ill, so you might not have to deal with the emotional aspect as much as when you are vested in your oncology patients. So... I don't know. I still need to explore and see what I want. You probably would have encouraged me to follow what I love most. Sometimes, things aren't as easy. But I'll try just as you would.
Everybody is doing well and moving on. Or at least I hope they do. It seems that they do. So I guess you don't have to worry about this wherever you are...
It's raining outside heavily. It has been raining for the last 6 hours with more to come. But the rain will stop tomorrow morning so I don't have to wear my heavy boots to school like last year. I didn't think you knew the story but it was flooding and everybody was as wet as a rat. It was so last year now.. :)
I traveled a lot last summer. I wish I could tell you all about it and take you with me as I promised you last year. It was fun and allowed me to do the things that I had always wished to do. People asked if it was lonely... it was more of an exploration than anything. Something you would have approved anyway. Maybe I take this after you. So I blame you for it. :-) A fun summer I would say.
Whenever I look at your picture, I always see your gentle smile. I look at your picture almost everyday whenever I exercise. I guess it's encouraging me to not be lazy ^-^. Your smile was just so content that it's very comforting to look at. And I guess it was the most random picture ever. We were trying to look for a good picture for your funeral... but we couldn't find any printed one. I remembered posting a picture of you and Mom on the Flickr long time ago. Quickly found and printed it. Mom said... you were trying to blind us and only wanted this picture because after an exhausted search, we couldn't find anything in the room. However, they started to appear after the funeral... after everything was done. We found bunch and bunch of pictures.. but to be honest, none was as good as the picture we took a few years back. You were too thin in the new picture and...the happy face wasn't there. We wondered... were we just too tired that we couldn't find any... or was it the act of someone else... But I hope you were happy...
Things after things, a year has gone by just like a blink of the eye. I visisted your resting place the other day. It is still the same. Not much has changed. You have several new neighbors. I hope they treat you well :-). Even if they didn't, you would have treated them just as nice.
I'm not visiting Mom for Thanksgiving. I think they wanted me to... but I can't. So I think I will have a little bit of down time while I'm here.
I hope you're well wherever you are. I hope things are good and others treat you nicely because you really deserve it.
For me...I have to get back to writing...reading...and writing again as usual.
It's a note from me Dad. I wanted to update you on things... but kind of digress out of it. I wish you the best...in everything.
A year has passed. To me, today is your memorial day. So much have changed Dad. My hair grows longer. (But I recently had it cut a little bit shorter by noone other than D. He's practicing his skill, so I volunteered to be an experimental subject). The cut wasn't perfect but at least he tried. And this is what you taught us all through your life. Although my hair grows longer, I don't get any taller except for when I wear high heels which hurt my ankles every time. Life is good here but very busy. I'm taking on different projects. As usual, I'm stretching myself probably more than I should have. But it's so usual that it's not uncommon to do so. Whether it is a bad idea, I don't know. I just think I become more workaholic with a long to-do list. Trying to put a strike through each of them is my every day task. I wonder what you would say if you were still here. Crazy little girl? Probably. That's what most people said. I'm used to it. Without the "busy-ness", things aren't excited as they would be. Maybe that's what I'm after... or maybe I'm just running from one thing to the other... trying to catch a glimpse of everything.
I'm in my second year now. I've tried to explore different facets that are available. Kind of narrowing it down bit by bit, but everything is up in the air at this point. I really love the idea of doing transplant. It's a fascinating field. It offers many things that I consider important: patient contact, pharmacotherapy, innovation, ability to work independently etc. However, I kept thinking about what I would be like to be working with patients whose chance of survival might not be great. and whether it will remind me of you and of how you couldn't get the benefit of the technological advance. There comes oncology. Having been going through what their families have gone through... it's easier for me to relate to them. You probably would have said the same. As much as I see a lot of opportunities in Am Care, there are still uncertainty about whether I should do it. The pace is good and you do help a lot of patients. In fact, most of your patients aren't critically ill, so you might not have to deal with the emotional aspect as much as when you are vested in your oncology patients. So... I don't know. I still need to explore and see what I want. You probably would have encouraged me to follow what I love most. Sometimes, things aren't as easy. But I'll try just as you would.
Everybody is doing well and moving on. Or at least I hope they do. It seems that they do. So I guess you don't have to worry about this wherever you are...
It's raining outside heavily. It has been raining for the last 6 hours with more to come. But the rain will stop tomorrow morning so I don't have to wear my heavy boots to school like last year. I didn't think you knew the story but it was flooding and everybody was as wet as a rat. It was so last year now.. :)
I traveled a lot last summer. I wish I could tell you all about it and take you with me as I promised you last year. It was fun and allowed me to do the things that I had always wished to do. People asked if it was lonely... it was more of an exploration than anything. Something you would have approved anyway. Maybe I take this after you. So I blame you for it. :-) A fun summer I would say.
Whenever I look at your picture, I always see your gentle smile. I look at your picture almost everyday whenever I exercise. I guess it's encouraging me to not be lazy ^-^. Your smile was just so content that it's very comforting to look at. And I guess it was the most random picture ever. We were trying to look for a good picture for your funeral... but we couldn't find any printed one. I remembered posting a picture of you and Mom on the Flickr long time ago. Quickly found and printed it. Mom said... you were trying to blind us and only wanted this picture because after an exhausted search, we couldn't find anything in the room. However, they started to appear after the funeral... after everything was done. We found bunch and bunch of pictures.. but to be honest, none was as good as the picture we took a few years back. You were too thin in the new picture and...the happy face wasn't there. We wondered... were we just too tired that we couldn't find any... or was it the act of someone else... But I hope you were happy...
Things after things, a year has gone by just like a blink of the eye. I visisted your resting place the other day. It is still the same. Not much has changed. You have several new neighbors. I hope they treat you well :-). Even if they didn't, you would have treated them just as nice.
I'm not visiting Mom for Thanksgiving. I think they wanted me to... but I can't. So I think I will have a little bit of down time while I'm here.
I hope you're well wherever you are. I hope things are good and others treat you nicely because you really deserve it.
For me...I have to get back to writing...reading...and writing again as usual.
It's a note from me Dad. I wanted to update you on things... but kind of digress out of it. I wish you the best...in everything.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
the end of fall break
Welcome back... to the rest of the semester..
Already I don't feel like going to school tomorrow. It must be bad. I have to constantly remind myself that it's only going to be like this for next a year and a half. After that, there will be no fall break, there will only be rotation which is probably not too bad ... but in anyway..
welcome back... fall break is over! We are in the final stretch of the semester. It's not too bad so far. I'm passing all my classes some are better than others. In any case, it's still fine.
Classes will pick up pretty soon. We will have one test a week starting next week until the end of the semester. Bracing for the storm that is yet to come.
P-school is not bad. It allows me to do things that I want to do. But I decided to drop out of the aging program. I like to do more extracurricular activity and this semester I can't do anything!!!! It's been pretty hectic with an extra 5 hrs a week devoted to two other classes. I'm crazy!!
In any case, welcome fall!!! It's pretty outside... but somehow.. it's just not the right place. It's good temporarily but for long term, something is still missing. Maybe I miss being close to the people that I know...
Already I don't feel like going to school tomorrow. It must be bad. I have to constantly remind myself that it's only going to be like this for next a year and a half. After that, there will be no fall break, there will only be rotation which is probably not too bad ... but in anyway..
welcome back... fall break is over! We are in the final stretch of the semester. It's not too bad so far. I'm passing all my classes some are better than others. In any case, it's still fine.
Classes will pick up pretty soon. We will have one test a week starting next week until the end of the semester. Bracing for the storm that is yet to come.
P-school is not bad. It allows me to do things that I want to do. But I decided to drop out of the aging program. I like to do more extracurricular activity and this semester I can't do anything!!!! It's been pretty hectic with an extra 5 hrs a week devoted to two other classes. I'm crazy!!
In any case, welcome fall!!! It's pretty outside... but somehow.. it's just not the right place. It's good temporarily but for long term, something is still missing. Maybe I miss being close to the people that I know...
Thursday, October 22, 2009
fall break so far
My fall break so far has been great. It's nice to be back with the family. It's nice to be fed and be treated like a little princess ^-^. Mom is always the best person to spoil me. The food was good and I managed to not succumb to my over-eating habit when it came to comfort food.
The weather has not been very pleasant. It was raining so hard today and yesterday while we drove home from the airport. Other than that, everything else is great.
I managed to get some work done. Well kind of. Very roughly draft the final group project. I sincerely don't want to spend so much time on this project anymore. I am more confused than ever about the direction about what we have to do. It's just not clear. As much as I really appreciate the effort that my professor put in, something just don't work. I am not giving up on this project, it's just not a high priority for me at this point because with more than 1000 point in this class, it's okie to miss a few.
I'm trying to work more on the final paper in my other class. From now until the end of the semester, things will just pile up one after another. So even though I'm on break, I'm still doing a lot of school work. I like it though. It made me feel that I'm starting to identify myself as a work-a-holic. I seriously always find work to do even though I'm piled up with tons of things.
I finally got to watch the Proposal. It's just a cute little story. Obviously, it's not realistic.. which movie is? However, I find it's cute and interesting to watch. I haven't watched many chick-flick lately. So it was a completely great fun, non-thinking type of movie. The setting was just beautiful and it made me want to travel again. I miss traveling so much. I miss going to places and seeing new things. Sometimes I feel guilty for wanting to travel... not sure why.. So my goal is to travel as much as I can until I can't anymore ^-^. Let's see if it works out.
Made of Honor is another movie that I got to watch during this small break. It was a fun, loving story as well. Not realistic in any sense but it was a fun movie to watch. I would have to say though I don't think it's as charming as the proposal. What made the Proposal so charming to me is the fact that the family was involved and how caring and wonderful they were. Made of Honor did not give me that feeling. The chemistry was there but something was lacking. But it's not a bad movie... it just wasn't very good. :)
It's so windy outside right now.... but I'm going to get some work done before going to bed tonight.
The weather has not been very pleasant. It was raining so hard today and yesterday while we drove home from the airport. Other than that, everything else is great.
I managed to get some work done. Well kind of. Very roughly draft the final group project. I sincerely don't want to spend so much time on this project anymore. I am more confused than ever about the direction about what we have to do. It's just not clear. As much as I really appreciate the effort that my professor put in, something just don't work. I am not giving up on this project, it's just not a high priority for me at this point because with more than 1000 point in this class, it's okie to miss a few.
I'm trying to work more on the final paper in my other class. From now until the end of the semester, things will just pile up one after another. So even though I'm on break, I'm still doing a lot of school work. I like it though. It made me feel that I'm starting to identify myself as a work-a-holic. I seriously always find work to do even though I'm piled up with tons of things.
I finally got to watch the Proposal. It's just a cute little story. Obviously, it's not realistic.. which movie is? However, I find it's cute and interesting to watch. I haven't watched many chick-flick lately. So it was a completely great fun, non-thinking type of movie. The setting was just beautiful and it made me want to travel again. I miss traveling so much. I miss going to places and seeing new things. Sometimes I feel guilty for wanting to travel... not sure why.. So my goal is to travel as much as I can until I can't anymore ^-^. Let's see if it works out.
Made of Honor is another movie that I got to watch during this small break. It was a fun, loving story as well. Not realistic in any sense but it was a fun movie to watch. I would have to say though I don't think it's as charming as the proposal. What made the Proposal so charming to me is the fact that the family was involved and how caring and wonderful they were. Made of Honor did not give me that feeling. The chemistry was there but something was lacking. But it's not a bad movie... it just wasn't very good. :)
It's so windy outside right now.... but I'm going to get some work done before going to bed tonight.
Friday, October 16, 2009
friday night talk...
It's late... but I need to document this before I forget... or at least before it slips away from me unnoticed.
Had a great dinner (well... the food is okie... not very spectacular but it's okie..it's the companion that counts). Great dinner followed with great talk. You never know who you are talking to until... obviously you start talking to them.
I'm glad I was able to talk to her... because she taught me many things even in a "short 3 hours talk." She gave me such good advices that I feel so lucky to be able to meet people that are so wonderful.
So many times I have doubted my abilities to accomplish something only to accomplish later on. But then the satisfaction is sometimes short lived because I am then heading to another target. It's hard to stop when you are driven to strive harder and harder. Sometimes... it's hurtful to hurt yourself because you are being pushed so hard. In contrast, some people just kind of got it without trying much. Would you consider yourself not as good? I would have said yes... and probably would have thought that... I have to be like somebody that ..I might never be. Slowly though, I start discovering that ...maybe my brain is tricking me :-) . I don't have to be at the same mountain as other. I don't have to compare myself with others. Trust me... it's so easy to say than done. I don't have to say that..... I need to make a perfect score on this test...as long as I know what I know, it's much more important than getting a perfect score on the test. Slowly, I start to recognize that being happy with my own abilities is probably the best thing in life. Only when I find confidence in myself, things will start to make sense and fall into places. The ability to find peace in oneself is not an easy task because you have to start learning about your mistakes and accepting your mistakes. You have to look and reflect about what you do more than ever. And you have to face your inability, your fault, and your imperfection. It's hard to be happy when all you see is the imperfection. However, the ability to work on it and improve upon it is just as important. Slowly... yeah slowly I recognize...finding peace within myself in this competitive environment.
I'm totally blessed with all the opportunities that are presented. "Embraced"...
Had a great dinner (well... the food is okie... not very spectacular but it's okie..it's the companion that counts). Great dinner followed with great talk. You never know who you are talking to until... obviously you start talking to them.
I'm glad I was able to talk to her... because she taught me many things even in a "short 3 hours talk." She gave me such good advices that I feel so lucky to be able to meet people that are so wonderful.
So many times I have doubted my abilities to accomplish something only to accomplish later on. But then the satisfaction is sometimes short lived because I am then heading to another target. It's hard to stop when you are driven to strive harder and harder. Sometimes... it's hurtful to hurt yourself because you are being pushed so hard. In contrast, some people just kind of got it without trying much. Would you consider yourself not as good? I would have said yes... and probably would have thought that... I have to be like somebody that ..I might never be. Slowly though, I start discovering that ...maybe my brain is tricking me :-) . I don't have to be at the same mountain as other. I don't have to compare myself with others. Trust me... it's so easy to say than done. I don't have to say that..... I need to make a perfect score on this test...as long as I know what I know, it's much more important than getting a perfect score on the test. Slowly, I start to recognize that being happy with my own abilities is probably the best thing in life. Only when I find confidence in myself, things will start to make sense and fall into places. The ability to find peace in oneself is not an easy task because you have to start learning about your mistakes and accepting your mistakes. You have to look and reflect about what you do more than ever. And you have to face your inability, your fault, and your imperfection. It's hard to be happy when all you see is the imperfection. However, the ability to work on it and improve upon it is just as important. Slowly... yeah slowly I recognize...finding peace within myself in this competitive environment.
I'm totally blessed with all the opportunities that are presented. "Embraced"...
Thursday, October 15, 2009
test...test...test...
Decision decision.. I decide to stick with the class. it's almost half of the semester, there is really no point in dropping it even though there will be no consequence in dropping it...but we'll see how she grades the first note. :) As long as I don't have to work harder for the class, I don't mind sticking around even though I have to sacrifice quite a lot of the extracurricular activities this semester.. it's okie.
We had our drug lit test today... it went well. Even though as usual, the questions are not completely straight forward. Some are phrased so weird that... it's just strange to answer the question. Despite the fact that many people hate this class, I find statistics is extremely important and I have to say I like the class a lot. I can read paper now with a much better understanding than I used to. She tried hard to make the class interesting but it's not so easy to tell us Pharm Students taking statistics eagerly. I give her credits for trying....
Went to dinner (like very early dinner if you consider eating at 4:30 is dinner) with my friend. It was a short dinner because I had to run to class but it was a good one. Ever since I move here, I made a few friends. I tended not to make many friends but the friends I made tend to last longer...I guess it's just a personality thing. I'm fortunate to have the friends that I have and I have no complain about it. :)
We had our drug lit test today... it went well. Even though as usual, the questions are not completely straight forward. Some are phrased so weird that... it's just strange to answer the question. Despite the fact that many people hate this class, I find statistics is extremely important and I have to say I like the class a lot. I can read paper now with a much better understanding than I used to. She tried hard to make the class interesting but it's not so easy to tell us Pharm Students taking statistics eagerly. I give her credits for trying....
Went to dinner (like very early dinner if you consider eating at 4:30 is dinner) with my friend. It was a short dinner because I had to run to class but it was a good one. Ever since I move here, I made a few friends. I tended not to make many friends but the friends I made tend to last longer...I guess it's just a personality thing. I'm fortunate to have the friends that I have and I have no complain about it. :)
Saturday, October 10, 2009
First NC wedding
I went to my first NC wedding today... interestingly enough, I don't know the groom and bride. But they are so pretty and happy together. I was invited because he was my best friend's relative. The groom's father was such a humble, funny, intellectual man. His speech cracked us up. Funny but still very deep. :)
I took 10 hours off from studying... yeah, that's a lot to drive for about 2 hours in order to get to the wedding. The ceremony was great. The food following the ceremony was good but the dinner was okie... I wish the food was a little bit warmer. It was kind of cold.
There are about 250 people. Everybody was so happy to be there. The atmosphere was warm and cozy even though the AC was full blast and I had to put on a sweater. Unexpectedly, I got a gift from M's relative. He bought it for his daughter without knowing her size... it was too small so he gave it to me. It was beautiful so I decided to wear it for the wedding instead of my dress haha. :D I always get free gifts. :) Will need to write him a thank you note.
It is the first wedding that I saw everybody in the room I mean 90% of the people stand up and dance with the music. I've never seen anything like this. Their dance floor was not big but everyone crammed in and it was such a lively evening.
Another interesting note...it's the first wedding where I saw ... such an interesting group of people from many different ethnic groups. It's just so nice to see... because I miss it dearly.
I talked to one of the guests... and at the same time realized that... all the pharmacists that taught at my school are all Caucasians! Many times I don't think, they understand or realize that.. some of us were raised very differently. We used a lot more natural products in the past. We tended not to use medicine. We believed in what we were told. Denying all of our beliefs right out in class... was a little bit harsh I think.
I was introduced to a lot of people. Had several interesting conversations before heading back home. The traffic was bad because they closed 3 lanes!!! Bottle neck effect..
It's getting late... I think I should hit the bed now
Another complain I have about some of our professors this year... definitely less understanding. I won't say any names... but yeah.. some people were just outright rude!
I took 10 hours off from studying... yeah, that's a lot to drive for about 2 hours in order to get to the wedding. The ceremony was great. The food following the ceremony was good but the dinner was okie... I wish the food was a little bit warmer. It was kind of cold.
There are about 250 people. Everybody was so happy to be there. The atmosphere was warm and cozy even though the AC was full blast and I had to put on a sweater. Unexpectedly, I got a gift from M's relative. He bought it for his daughter without knowing her size... it was too small so he gave it to me. It was beautiful so I decided to wear it for the wedding instead of my dress haha. :D I always get free gifts. :) Will need to write him a thank you note.
It is the first wedding that I saw everybody in the room I mean 90% of the people stand up and dance with the music. I've never seen anything like this. Their dance floor was not big but everyone crammed in and it was such a lively evening.
Another interesting note...it's the first wedding where I saw ... such an interesting group of people from many different ethnic groups. It's just so nice to see... because I miss it dearly.
I talked to one of the guests... and at the same time realized that... all the pharmacists that taught at my school are all Caucasians! Many times I don't think, they understand or realize that.. some of us were raised very differently. We used a lot more natural products in the past. We tended not to use medicine. We believed in what we were told. Denying all of our beliefs right out in class... was a little bit harsh I think.
I was introduced to a lot of people. Had several interesting conversations before heading back home. The traffic was bad because they closed 3 lanes!!! Bottle neck effect..
It's getting late... I think I should hit the bed now
Another complain I have about some of our professors this year... definitely less understanding. I won't say any names... but yeah.. some people were just outright rude!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
it's fall...and it's grading complaint...
Another week is almost over. Where did the last 24 hours go? :)
We are too busy to think about other things surrounding us. Sometimes it is what we want that acts as obstacle. I don't know how many times I've changed my mind in the last month about what I want to do. At least, I tried out a couple thing and decided that it might not be the one. Things come and go just like that.
Taking classes is not a hard job. It is what you want from the class makes the class harder. I always wonder... what happens when grade is not a factor in determining many things. I want to take the grade components out of school. Grades how matter you phrase them create competition. Competition leads to uncivil disputes. I might have been a pro-grade person in the past but it is long gone now.
It is so much more important to learn the material and know the material than being tested and given a letter grade. From my experience, grades do not speak much. There is no standardization between schools. There is no standardization between classes, between instructors. However can a person or a committee decide whom to accept and whom to deny? *I'm talking about professional and grad school grade, not undergrad grade*
I put much thoughts about it.... and I know schools will never change. They won't eliminate grades... at least not now because there is no way to measure students against one another. But then again...what does it say about the school? A school who has a high percentage of B-C students...do not produce enough competent pharmacists? Should it be even accredited then?
Professors even admit they want to distinguish A students from B students from C students. I questioned their purposes. What will the benefits be of distinguishing A from B from C? Will the A student be more successful? Will the C student be less successful and will have less chance of having a job or a residency? Then you have to define what success is. I wonder what happens when you ask an A student and a C student about what they think about their learning experience. Will they tell you the same or different story? Will an A student say he/she has learned a lot and will be able to apply the knowledge? Will the C student say that they had not learned much? So is it because of the student or the teaching?
Having an A doesn't guarantee success. Having a C doesn't guarantee failure. I believe in professional school, students should take their coursework seriously... but then again if the school is good and believes that their students once graduate will be able to accept the challenge the world bestow upon... why grade matters? I think one day it will happen...may be when the school is confident enough that they produce competent pharmacists...because I still don't understand how a person can interpret a low GPA from a pharmacy student...what this number really means?
According to the guideline C: average... learn enough material to pass. B : above average... C : excellent understanding of the materials. I question the mission of the school....there will always be a % of people who gets C...what will they say about.. producing competent practitioner...
I wonder if there is a system such as... everything is pass/fail... you won't make it easy to pass... the students need to demonstrate that he/she understands the material well enough to pass.
We should put the grade behind us and focus on training better practitioners who actually understand and know what they should do.
After all, the NAPLEX is pass/fail... and nobody would look at your grade before hiring you.
We are too busy to think about other things surrounding us. Sometimes it is what we want that acts as obstacle. I don't know how many times I've changed my mind in the last month about what I want to do. At least, I tried out a couple thing and decided that it might not be the one. Things come and go just like that.
Taking classes is not a hard job. It is what you want from the class makes the class harder. I always wonder... what happens when grade is not a factor in determining many things. I want to take the grade components out of school. Grades how matter you phrase them create competition. Competition leads to uncivil disputes. I might have been a pro-grade person in the past but it is long gone now.
It is so much more important to learn the material and know the material than being tested and given a letter grade. From my experience, grades do not speak much. There is no standardization between schools. There is no standardization between classes, between instructors. However can a person or a committee decide whom to accept and whom to deny? *I'm talking about professional and grad school grade, not undergrad grade*
I put much thoughts about it.... and I know schools will never change. They won't eliminate grades... at least not now because there is no way to measure students against one another. But then again...what does it say about the school? A school who has a high percentage of B-C students...do not produce enough competent pharmacists? Should it be even accredited then?
Professors even admit they want to distinguish A students from B students from C students. I questioned their purposes. What will the benefits be of distinguishing A from B from C? Will the A student be more successful? Will the C student be less successful and will have less chance of having a job or a residency? Then you have to define what success is. I wonder what happens when you ask an A student and a C student about what they think about their learning experience. Will they tell you the same or different story? Will an A student say he/she has learned a lot and will be able to apply the knowledge? Will the C student say that they had not learned much? So is it because of the student or the teaching?
Having an A doesn't guarantee success. Having a C doesn't guarantee failure. I believe in professional school, students should take their coursework seriously... but then again if the school is good and believes that their students once graduate will be able to accept the challenge the world bestow upon... why grade matters? I think one day it will happen...may be when the school is confident enough that they produce competent pharmacists...because I still don't understand how a person can interpret a low GPA from a pharmacy student...what this number really means?
According to the guideline C: average... learn enough material to pass. B : above average... C : excellent understanding of the materials. I question the mission of the school....there will always be a % of people who gets C...what will they say about.. producing competent practitioner...
I wonder if there is a system such as... everything is pass/fail... you won't make it easy to pass... the students need to demonstrate that he/she understands the material well enough to pass.
We should put the grade behind us and focus on training better practitioners who actually understand and know what they should do.
After all, the NAPLEX is pass/fail... and nobody would look at your grade before hiring you.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
fall is here
It's all new all over again...
Last year, I couldn't detect the fall weather in the air. This year, with a different perspective, I take a fresher look at my surrounding and realize it's so beautiful. Yes, a place that is beautiful and sheltered from the world's trouble.
It has been a few days already. People are struggling to keep up with life. First it was the typhoon that killed and displaced hundreds if not thousands of people. Then, the tsunami hit Samoa. The natural disaster continued with two big earthquakes in Indonesia. Thousands of people are suffering in the world. I wonder what I can do. Working with organization in school? Working with organization outside of school? Should I just start an organization of my own? I always think about it. It is not a bad idea. However, the fear of failure is looming ahead. Maybe once I get over this fear, things will fare better. When you work without fear of failure and with only the end in mind, the road is a lot clearer... and the confidence will surge high.
It has been a very long week with 2 tests and numerous things to do. I am always blessed with all the things I have in life. I don't think I can ask for more.
I keep my prayer for you. Hopefully things will fare better next year... no that's too far away... hopefully things will fare better as time goes on.
I have been thinking a lot about all the classes that I am taking this semester. Well, in all I'm taking quite a handful. However, I do enjoy them. Sometimes, coming to class can be a little difficult because you had a long day the previous day. Sometimes, all I had was a quick lunch break and a rush home for dinner only to come back to school for another 3 hours of instruction. I wonder why I have to put myself through it. Sometimes I thought about just maybe delay the certificate program. However, a small encounter with an elderly who experienced a stroke changed it all. It made things a lot easier because I know one day they might need me. Seeing them happy makes me happy.
Last year, I couldn't detect the fall weather in the air. This year, with a different perspective, I take a fresher look at my surrounding and realize it's so beautiful. Yes, a place that is beautiful and sheltered from the world's trouble.
It has been a few days already. People are struggling to keep up with life. First it was the typhoon that killed and displaced hundreds if not thousands of people. Then, the tsunami hit Samoa. The natural disaster continued with two big earthquakes in Indonesia. Thousands of people are suffering in the world. I wonder what I can do. Working with organization in school? Working with organization outside of school? Should I just start an organization of my own? I always think about it. It is not a bad idea. However, the fear of failure is looming ahead. Maybe once I get over this fear, things will fare better. When you work without fear of failure and with only the end in mind, the road is a lot clearer... and the confidence will surge high.
It has been a very long week with 2 tests and numerous things to do. I am always blessed with all the things I have in life. I don't think I can ask for more.
I keep my prayer for you. Hopefully things will fare better next year... no that's too far away... hopefully things will fare better as time goes on.
I have been thinking a lot about all the classes that I am taking this semester. Well, in all I'm taking quite a handful. However, I do enjoy them. Sometimes, coming to class can be a little difficult because you had a long day the previous day. Sometimes, all I had was a quick lunch break and a rush home for dinner only to come back to school for another 3 hours of instruction. I wonder why I have to put myself through it. Sometimes I thought about just maybe delay the certificate program. However, a small encounter with an elderly who experienced a stroke changed it all. It made things a lot easier because I know one day they might need me. Seeing them happy makes me happy.
Monday, September 28, 2009
busy
it's been a busy week already. We had a test today and another one on Wednesday. Plus, soap notes, plus many other things that need to be done.
Time management is a skill that needs to be learned and practiced. I'm learning it, and practicing it. Hopefully, it will show better results in the near future.
Recently coming across a question about introvert. I guess I'm not 100% introvert. Probably 80%. There is always a spectrum of things.
As an introvert, it's hard to express what you feel sometimes because you can't always tell people what you are experiencing. Plus, it's not very easy for introvert to communicate.
However, I have a problem with people distinguishing introvert or extrovert. We give names and personalities to others. Maybe if we just eliminate these, we can appreciate a person as a person but not a person with a condition.
Time management is a skill that needs to be learned and practiced. I'm learning it, and practicing it. Hopefully, it will show better results in the near future.
Recently coming across a question about introvert. I guess I'm not 100% introvert. Probably 80%. There is always a spectrum of things.
As an introvert, it's hard to express what you feel sometimes because you can't always tell people what you are experiencing. Plus, it's not very easy for introvert to communicate.
However, I have a problem with people distinguishing introvert or extrovert. We give names and personalities to others. Maybe if we just eliminate these, we can appreciate a person as a person but not a person with a condition.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
What I've learned.
So far in this semester, I've learned that coming to class prepared help me learn the material better.
Not preparing for class, I don't learn as much. Obviously, it depends on the instructor but overall, things are going okie. I think I will pass all my classes :)
Not preparing for class, I don't learn as much. Obviously, it depends on the instructor but overall, things are going okie. I think I will pass all my classes :)
Saturday, September 19, 2009
leadership conference
I attended a leadership conference today and it was so thrilling to be part of something that can motivate you.
All the speakers were so inspirational. I like it how they told us about their life story and how they get to where they get. Each came in with different backgrounds and perspectives. I find it is great to be able to relate to some of them. They were also approachable. I have learned so much.
Most of them resonate on... do what you love... do what you are passionate about because it will give you the drive to the finish line. I guess I need this motivation more than anything else at this point. Life has been up and down. Once in a while you look back and think... what am I doing here... where am I going... what will my life be...
There are endless opportunities and yes... only if you can get the opportunity...
I'm glad that I went... even though it was early in the morning but I got so much out of it. It gives me a little bit better perspective of what I can do. Yes, you don't have to be stuck in one position. You are free to explore. You are free to go where your heart desires.
All the speakers were so inspirational. I like it how they told us about their life story and how they get to where they get. Each came in with different backgrounds and perspectives. I find it is great to be able to relate to some of them. They were also approachable. I have learned so much.
Most of them resonate on... do what you love... do what you are passionate about because it will give you the drive to the finish line. I guess I need this motivation more than anything else at this point. Life has been up and down. Once in a while you look back and think... what am I doing here... where am I going... what will my life be...
There are endless opportunities and yes... only if you can get the opportunity...
I'm glad that I went... even though it was early in the morning but I got so much out of it. It gives me a little bit better perspective of what I can do. Yes, you don't have to be stuck in one position. You are free to explore. You are free to go where your heart desires.
Friday, September 18, 2009
shopping addicts
sometimes I can be a shop addict.... seriously.. it's so easy to buy things that you don't need... so what is my strategy? shop online... look for things you like... add it to the cart... but never click on the submit button... so it looks like you buy it... you satisfy your need to shop but you never have to spend the money.
I patent this!!!
I patent this!!!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
almost the end of september
I can't believe it's almost the end of September. Wasn't it just August?
Another semester is flying by... although this semester is not as hectic as last semester (test every week), things just start piling up. It seems the information that we get are a lot more than last year.
I start to organize things better. There are still a lot to learn but I will try to make the best out of it.
Currently, I like stat. It's important to learn about statistics. I might take another stat class in the future.
There are so many classes to take... yes... there are so little time... but what can you do? :)
Another semester is flying by... although this semester is not as hectic as last semester (test every week), things just start piling up. It seems the information that we get are a lot more than last year.
I start to organize things better. There are still a lot to learn but I will try to make the best out of it.
Currently, I like stat. It's important to learn about statistics. I might take another stat class in the future.
There are so many classes to take... yes... there are so little time... but what can you do? :)
Sunday, September 13, 2009
just thinking out loud
WE are often lured into the luxurious experience.. we are often lured into the world of fame... to defeat the temptation, the thoughts is a feat by itself
Friday, September 11, 2009
living
Our life is very complicated. Being in a health professional, it is my duty to help my patients to get better, to feel better, and to be free of disease. I take this responsibility by heart.
I am currently taking an aging and health class. It makes me wonder how long we should live. Our life is not limited. We extend our life by the use of medicine and technology. We apply our basic science knowledge to our daily life. We learn about how the cells work. We learn about how to make our cells feel better. We learn the basic mechanism that governs life on earth and yes, we are trying to prevent it from stopping.
Many people have the blessings of living a long life without any chronic disease. However, many people do not have this luxury. however, they still live a lot longer than previous generations due to the advance of science. However, I wonder how their quality of life is like. I wonder whether they feel happy.
Our main goal is to treat patients with disease. We can't treat old age. We can't reverse what has been done. It's like the past... our cells can only replicate to a certain point. However, are we ready to understand that someday we all will pass away?
I am currently taking an aging and health class. It makes me wonder how long we should live. Our life is not limited. We extend our life by the use of medicine and technology. We apply our basic science knowledge to our daily life. We learn about how the cells work. We learn about how to make our cells feel better. We learn the basic mechanism that governs life on earth and yes, we are trying to prevent it from stopping.
Many people have the blessings of living a long life without any chronic disease. However, many people do not have this luxury. however, they still live a lot longer than previous generations due to the advance of science. However, I wonder how their quality of life is like. I wonder whether they feel happy.
Our main goal is to treat patients with disease. We can't treat old age. We can't reverse what has been done. It's like the past... our cells can only replicate to a certain point. However, are we ready to understand that someday we all will pass away?
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
On obesity
We talk about obesity daily. We conduct studies to learn about how obesity comes about and how to prevent it from spreading across our nation. It is an epidemic here in the United States. However, before doctors/nutritionists/pharmacists or any other healthcare professional want to study this population, I would like to ask whether this population wants to be studied.
I realize over the years that people can only change if they truly want to change. If people don’t want to change, no matter what you do, they won’t do anything about it.
Maybe, scientists should start learning more about the patient’s population. They should learn about why they eat the food they eat. They should learn about why they choose to do certain activity and not others. If you don’t get to learn about your subjects, how would you be able to recommend something? If the patient is a single child and his parents think that chubby child is healthy, how would you go about and educate the parents? How would you explain to the parents chubby might not be healthy. You need to understand what healthy means to them. In many cultures, healthy means : kids are chubby and eat well (by this I mean a lot). So how would you go about and explain something like this?
If you start talking to them about nutrition, you might just end up hitting yourself in the wall because you both come from different perspective. I am not saying everyone who is obese is not aware of the danger of hidden sugar in their drink or the carbs in their food. Their perspective is just so different that in order to change it, you need to dig deeper.
With that…I am thinking maybe I should create a small guide chart that has different definition of what carbs, proteins, fat mean. To me, these are not straightforward things and it is obvious that some people might find it confuse as well. So … another project will be on the way.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
just thought
It has been almost 10 years now. Time flies by so fast.
I still remember when we were young and playful. It has always been a pleasure to know all of my friends. Now, all of us are in different phase of our life. Some have just gotten married. Some have had babies. Some are expecting babies. Things are just keeping on moving and I am sitting here thinking about life and all the memories that I had.
It has not been an easy 10 years but it was not so bad either. The ups and downs are common in life. What we need to do to deal with it is more important.
It would be interesting to see where we are again 10 years from now...:)
I still remember when we were young and playful. It has always been a pleasure to know all of my friends. Now, all of us are in different phase of our life. Some have just gotten married. Some have had babies. Some are expecting babies. Things are just keeping on moving and I am sitting here thinking about life and all the memories that I had.
It has not been an easy 10 years but it was not so bad either. The ups and downs are common in life. What we need to do to deal with it is more important.
It would be interesting to see where we are again 10 years from now...:)
Friday, September 4, 2009
random stuffs
It's been so constantly... running from one class to another. Studying one course to another. Driving from one place to another. To be honest, I don't know how this weeks gets by so fast. Thank to the holiday weekend I will get some rest ... probably... and then back to the cycle again.
It's been an uneventful week. I hope this is a good thing. The weather has been mild and nice so the walk and the drive have not been bad. And yes, something is missing here. It still does not feel quite right.
As you continue to figure out what you like and what you don't, you start to appreciate what you have and what you don't. I guess I am starting to find out... what i am good at and how I can use this to help myself and others.
Maybe I'll do amb. care instead of acute... I think I start to like the idea of that... but let's see how this year pan out.
It's hard to be a perfectionist because you can punish yourself tremendously if things don't go right. But to be able to get over the threshold and continue on... it takes a lot of courage...
It's been an uneventful week. I hope this is a good thing. The weather has been mild and nice so the walk and the drive have not been bad. And yes, something is missing here. It still does not feel quite right.
As you continue to figure out what you like and what you don't, you start to appreciate what you have and what you don't. I guess I am starting to find out... what i am good at and how I can use this to help myself and others.
Maybe I'll do amb. care instead of acute... I think I start to like the idea of that... but let's see how this year pan out.
It's hard to be a perfectionist because you can punish yourself tremendously if things don't go right. But to be able to get over the threshold and continue on... it takes a lot of courage...
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
it's fall...
I guess I should be studying but I do love writing.
I love to write mostly about what I think. I love to write about things surrounding me.
The temperature has cooled down significantly in the past day. No longer was the intense heat combining with humidity. My glasses won't get fogged up probably for another few months if not another 7-10 months or so.
Changes are always here. I never noted the pattern each year even though I should have. But why bother noting pattern when we can always look at the present and appreciate it for what it is? Yes, the leaves will turn color. It will then fall on the ground. This pattern has been expressed numerous time in literature, magazine, and talks. It's often talked about because it is so beautiful to look at and yes most of us will probably remember the moment we stand there appreciating nature as it is. It's shedding to have a new cover.
And it is like that with everything in life.
We turn our leaf daily without noticing it. Every little change we make in our daily life will contribute to the bigger change a year from now, two years from now or even ten years from now.
It is hard to accept that you have changed. Comparison does not mean much if it only gives you misery. Instead, look at the hard fact and learn about what have you changed and why have you changed. The outcomes and reasons might give you insights of who you are at the present and probably who you want to be in the future. Many reasons to live, many reasons to believe and yes sometimes we are stuck in one single post not knowing where to turn...sometimes because we haven't looked at ourself... sometimes because we haven't admitted that we've changed...
Last fall, I was a different person in this world. This fall, I have changed into a different one. The basic characteristics are still there. Some are sharpened with times. Some have become dull through neglect and the un-necessary. After all, you can only live the moment of your life once. So why not take advantage of it and do something that you might not regret later. Even if you do regret, just remember you have chosen it... and move on...
I love to write mostly about what I think. I love to write about things surrounding me.
The temperature has cooled down significantly in the past day. No longer was the intense heat combining with humidity. My glasses won't get fogged up probably for another few months if not another 7-10 months or so.
Changes are always here. I never noted the pattern each year even though I should have. But why bother noting pattern when we can always look at the present and appreciate it for what it is? Yes, the leaves will turn color. It will then fall on the ground. This pattern has been expressed numerous time in literature, magazine, and talks. It's often talked about because it is so beautiful to look at and yes most of us will probably remember the moment we stand there appreciating nature as it is. It's shedding to have a new cover.
And it is like that with everything in life.
We turn our leaf daily without noticing it. Every little change we make in our daily life will contribute to the bigger change a year from now, two years from now or even ten years from now.
It is hard to accept that you have changed. Comparison does not mean much if it only gives you misery. Instead, look at the hard fact and learn about what have you changed and why have you changed. The outcomes and reasons might give you insights of who you are at the present and probably who you want to be in the future. Many reasons to live, many reasons to believe and yes sometimes we are stuck in one single post not knowing where to turn...sometimes because we haven't looked at ourself... sometimes because we haven't admitted that we've changed...
Last fall, I was a different person in this world. This fall, I have changed into a different one. The basic characteristics are still there. Some are sharpened with times. Some have become dull through neglect and the un-necessary. After all, you can only live the moment of your life once. So why not take advantage of it and do something that you might not regret later. Even if you do regret, just remember you have chosen it... and move on...
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Illusion!!
Have you ever thought about how perception develops? How magic can be performed? Even things you know for sure didn't happen... appeared to happen?
Just finish listening to a TED talk... it was true... we see things based on our past experience. No matter what we try, there will things that we just can't erase from the past. In fact, I don't think we ever erase anything in our brain. It might sit in the back corner waiting to be called upon at an appropriate time and place. Things that you thought you have successfully erased might one day surface unexpectedly.
That lead me to think about what we actually see? Is it the true? Is it the reality that we wish to see? Or is it just... an illusion? After all, we only want to see what we like. Things are only beautiful if we like it. Is it the brain or is it the eye that deceives us? What is it that makes us like one thing over the other? What is it that makes us see one thing and the other sees different things?
Not only our eyes can deceive us... the presenter can also deceive us with the image... distance, color, shade, shapes.. all these are deceiving after all. What got me interest is the dolphin illusion. I guess a lot of people would see the image that most children can't see. However, I realize... most people can still see the dolphin if the image was presented differently. How it was presented in TED... the image was blurry and not all the details were presented... and obviously from a far, it's hard to realize what it is that is being presented. However, if you look at the picture close up... you will see little dolphin dancing around. It's not hard to see... it's what you look for. It might show what our brain is looking for unconsciously maybe? Who knows what is going on in the brain at this moment? We can't control our brain 100% that's for sure... and yes, most of us don't learn how to control our brain. We mainly let the brain control us...maybe that's why there are pain, hatred, and love in this world. If we for once control our brain or at least learn how to control it, wouldn't the world be a better place? :)
So what should you see things with? Your eyes? Your brain? your intuition? What is it that you really see? Would you let the brain decides what it wants to see? Or would you decide what you want the brain to see? :)
Saturday, August 22, 2009
it's getting near!
School will start in a few days. Whether I am ready or not... I have to be ready by next week. Sound kind of crazy but after spending a summer away, it was a different experience moving back here.
Life has been good so far except the ant invasion recently. Put out the traps but it didn't seem to help. So I guess tomorrow I will go and try to buy the Terro brand that everybody was talking about to see if it is going to help.
A tip of healthy fitness:
Everyone can do it at anywhere: if you have tennis shoes or running shoes, great. If you don't, find a carperted area, and run in place for 5 minutes. If you just start running, you can do it slow to get your body used to running condition. Hopefully, after a week of practicing, you can run a little bit faster.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Internet
I've learned that... the Internet is very wonderful!
You can:
- put your mail on hold by going to the USPS website (www.usps.com) . The limit is one month. So if you have less than a month long vacation, it can put your mail on hold in seconds.
- You can check out the weather! Worry about what to wear tomorrow at work, at school, or even just occasional outings? It's always good to check the weather before you choose which outfit you're going to wear. Remember: not a week before, not two days before, not a night before, but the hours before! (Site I often check: www.weather.com )
- You can look up where you want to go at your finger tips. maps.google.com offers very useful information. Their direction can get messed up a little bit if you will be traveling to a small town. It's best to actually familiarize yourself with the areas on the maps. Try to locate some landmark. Try to remember some name. Knowing the adjacent town will be helpful because it will help you to see whether you are going on in the right direction.
Those are just a few things...
School is almost here again.. for those who will be moving to a new area... try to spend a few days exploring what is around. talking to the local will definitely help. :)
good luck in the last few days
You can:
- put your mail on hold by going to the USPS website (www.usps.com) . The limit is one month. So if you have less than a month long vacation, it can put your mail on hold in seconds.
- You can check out the weather! Worry about what to wear tomorrow at work, at school, or even just occasional outings? It's always good to check the weather before you choose which outfit you're going to wear. Remember: not a week before, not two days before, not a night before, but the hours before! (Site I often check: www.weather.com )
- You can look up where you want to go at your finger tips. maps.google.com offers very useful information. Their direction can get messed up a little bit if you will be traveling to a small town. It's best to actually familiarize yourself with the areas on the maps. Try to locate some landmark. Try to remember some name. Knowing the adjacent town will be helpful because it will help you to see whether you are going on in the right direction.
Those are just a few things...
School is almost here again.. for those who will be moving to a new area... try to spend a few days exploring what is around. talking to the local will definitely help. :)
good luck in the last few days
Monday, July 27, 2009
school almost started...
Hello again!
It's been forever since I started writing again. I guess the last essay that I wrote was in May (middle-May) for our rotation. although I did write a small diary about my rotation occasionally, I didn't post them... maybe I should have at least to keep this blog updating.
School is almost here again. I remembered having to move to a different city, state all the way across the country last year. It was not an easy process but was definitely a well-worth effort. So should I give you some moving advice? I'm definitely not a moving expert but I can give some tips in packing, moving, and transporting.
I didn't actually pack my bag and leave until it's very close to the departure day. So this is the first mistake. So what I would do is list the things that you want to bring with you all along summer. After you do that, think about how you are going to pack them. Will you be transporting anything that are breakable? If this is a temporary move, you might not need to move your whole house. If this is a "this is it" move, then I would consult a moving company. You can either buy packing boxes at different office supplies store, or if you already have boxes lying around, proper taping would be sufficient. If you decide to ship the box, I found UPS is pretty good (FedEx seems to be a little bit more expensive). You can call or go to their website to check the price. For UPS: www.ups.com for FedEx: www.fedex.com .
If you will be transporting a lot of clothes, those suction vacuum bags come in very handy. You can buy them relatively inexpensive at target or walmart. They have different sizes. You can use this if you don't mind your clothes will be wrinkle. I think they provide great protection.
You need to think about the day you ship your stuffs and the day of your departure. You don't have to ship your things way in advance like two weeks. You can ship them 2-3 days before your departure to the destination of your choice. UPS usually deliver within 3-5 business days. At least, mine was delivered during that time frame. So just be sure to leave some clothes to wear for about a week or so while you are waiting for your items to arrive.
Have all your paper ready. Make sure don't lose your driver license, wallet, etc. They sure they stay with you wherever you go! And check to make sure they are still there when you leave anywhere. If you are to fly and lose your wallet on the night of flying, it wouldn't be a great idea!
I hope these tips will help you along with your packing :)
bye now
It's been forever since I started writing again. I guess the last essay that I wrote was in May (middle-May) for our rotation. although I did write a small diary about my rotation occasionally, I didn't post them... maybe I should have at least to keep this blog updating.
School is almost here again. I remembered having to move to a different city, state all the way across the country last year. It was not an easy process but was definitely a well-worth effort. So should I give you some moving advice? I'm definitely not a moving expert but I can give some tips in packing, moving, and transporting.
I didn't actually pack my bag and leave until it's very close to the departure day. So this is the first mistake. So what I would do is list the things that you want to bring with you all along summer. After you do that, think about how you are going to pack them. Will you be transporting anything that are breakable? If this is a temporary move, you might not need to move your whole house. If this is a "this is it" move, then I would consult a moving company. You can either buy packing boxes at different office supplies store, or if you already have boxes lying around, proper taping would be sufficient. If you decide to ship the box, I found UPS is pretty good (FedEx seems to be a little bit more expensive). You can call or go to their website to check the price. For UPS: www.ups.com for FedEx: www.fedex.com .
If you will be transporting a lot of clothes, those suction vacuum bags come in very handy. You can buy them relatively inexpensive at target or walmart. They have different sizes. You can use this if you don't mind your clothes will be wrinkle. I think they provide great protection.
You need to think about the day you ship your stuffs and the day of your departure. You don't have to ship your things way in advance like two weeks. You can ship them 2-3 days before your departure to the destination of your choice. UPS usually deliver within 3-5 business days. At least, mine was delivered during that time frame. So just be sure to leave some clothes to wear for about a week or so while you are waiting for your items to arrive.
Have all your paper ready. Make sure don't lose your driver license, wallet, etc. They sure they stay with you wherever you go! And check to make sure they are still there when you leave anywhere. If you are to fly and lose your wallet on the night of flying, it wouldn't be a great idea!
I hope these tips will help you along with your packing :)
bye now
Sunday, April 19, 2009
it's midnight already?
taking a break from studying I decide to blog about st ...
life of a pharmacy student is very simple. Beside some social occasions, we tend to spend our time studying or working. It is true that many of my classmates work (myself included). though some work in related fields, some don't. It's just a matter of reference, I supposed.
Very soon, we will set out to start our first rotation in the summer. I don't know what to expect. I have never been to a hospital pharmacy (not counting the time I need to pick up prescription). Hospital pharmacies I guess will be very different from regular retail pharmacies. The pace will definitely different. Formulary will also be different. (google can't recognize the word formulary!) :)
Anyway, it should be an exciting adventure. Before I can enjoy it though, I need to get over the next two weeks... of exams.
After a week of more or less relaxing (and obviously, none of us take advantage of that), we will be staying up all night until the wee hours to study for our finals in less than 4 days...
What a semester... up and down, up and down.. in the end it's the effort that counts. we have all come all the way until now, we can't give up yet, can we? :)
Good luck to you all! :)
life of a pharmacy student is very simple. Beside some social occasions, we tend to spend our time studying or working. It is true that many of my classmates work (myself included). though some work in related fields, some don't. It's just a matter of reference, I supposed.
Very soon, we will set out to start our first rotation in the summer. I don't know what to expect. I have never been to a hospital pharmacy (not counting the time I need to pick up prescription). Hospital pharmacies I guess will be very different from regular retail pharmacies. The pace will definitely different. Formulary will also be different. (google can't recognize the word formulary!) :)
Anyway, it should be an exciting adventure. Before I can enjoy it though, I need to get over the next two weeks... of exams.
After a week of more or less relaxing (and obviously, none of us take advantage of that), we will be staying up all night until the wee hours to study for our finals in less than 4 days...
What a semester... up and down, up and down.. in the end it's the effort that counts. we have all come all the way until now, we can't give up yet, can we? :)
Good luck to you all! :)
Saturday, April 18, 2009
another post
as much as I try to keep up.. things get delayed once in a while.
Things have started to slowing down recently because finals are coming. It's so hard to imagine that our first year is coming in to an end so fast. I have been in school again for another year and sometimes I wonder whether it is the right decision. As of now, I think it is. As of tomorrow, I don't know.
I still love new things everyday in class. I enjoy some classes more than others, who wouldn't? I can't enjoy all my classes as people would expected.
Therapy is becoming more bearable. Biochem not so much, I hope I can survive this class. I just can't understand the test questions or what is being asked. I understand life is not black and white... but sometimes teachers need to understand... their questions are ambiguous and they are no ways testifying the students' knowledge. I like dynamics as much as pharmaceutics. They are interesting topics. Contemplating taking more classes about that.
Life in pharmacy school has been good so far. Compared to other professional students, we might have an better study-life balance. We still get to do stuffs even though exams are next week.
Very soon I will become a rising PY2.
Time fly!
Things have started to slowing down recently because finals are coming. It's so hard to imagine that our first year is coming in to an end so fast. I have been in school again for another year and sometimes I wonder whether it is the right decision. As of now, I think it is. As of tomorrow, I don't know.
I still love new things everyday in class. I enjoy some classes more than others, who wouldn't? I can't enjoy all my classes as people would expected.
Therapy is becoming more bearable. Biochem not so much, I hope I can survive this class. I just can't understand the test questions or what is being asked. I understand life is not black and white... but sometimes teachers need to understand... their questions are ambiguous and they are no ways testifying the students' knowledge. I like dynamics as much as pharmaceutics. They are interesting topics. Contemplating taking more classes about that.
Life in pharmacy school has been good so far. Compared to other professional students, we might have an better study-life balance. We still get to do stuffs even though exams are next week.
Very soon I will become a rising PY2.
Time fly!
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Stress.. unemployment... unrelated to pharmacy again
What the world that we live in...
Almost every week we hear about people die because of stress and unemployment.
We all face difficulties in our life and it has become more apparent that stress can make people do things that they don't normally do.
Over the past months, I have read news about normal family man killed his family. Unhappy man killed people where his wife worked. Angry immigrant became a killer that took life of more than 10 people. I wonder what I would be life had they learned how to cope with stress?
Some people are born to be able to handle stress better than others. I am not. I have to learn how to handle stress through practice. Last semester was extremely stressful. Losing an important person in my life in the middle of the semester was very hard. I lost my focus once in a while and it took a lot of effort to get them back. I did stress out over test but I also did tell myself that I would try my best in whatever it is and we will see what would happen.
We sometimes create stress for ourselves by prioritizing things. It is not bad to prioritize things but putting them in the wrong orders can be dangerous. If money is the most important thing on the list, losing a job would be detrimental to the people who now lost their only incomes. If having a family is the most important in the list, losing a wife or a child might detrimental to one's mind.
Our action is not defined by our reaction to our external environment. We tend to react to whatever come to us. And yes, sometimes it is just an instinct reaction. We might have thought it is not an instinct but it is.
My sympathy goes out to people who have lost their loved ones as well as those who have lost their life. We always want things to be different but sometimes things are not going the way we want them to go.
Be well you all
Almost every week we hear about people die because of stress and unemployment.
We all face difficulties in our life and it has become more apparent that stress can make people do things that they don't normally do.
Over the past months, I have read news about normal family man killed his family. Unhappy man killed people where his wife worked. Angry immigrant became a killer that took life of more than 10 people. I wonder what I would be life had they learned how to cope with stress?
Some people are born to be able to handle stress better than others. I am not. I have to learn how to handle stress through practice. Last semester was extremely stressful. Losing an important person in my life in the middle of the semester was very hard. I lost my focus once in a while and it took a lot of effort to get them back. I did stress out over test but I also did tell myself that I would try my best in whatever it is and we will see what would happen.
We sometimes create stress for ourselves by prioritizing things. It is not bad to prioritize things but putting them in the wrong orders can be dangerous. If money is the most important thing on the list, losing a job would be detrimental to the people who now lost their only incomes. If having a family is the most important in the list, losing a wife or a child might detrimental to one's mind.
Our action is not defined by our reaction to our external environment. We tend to react to whatever come to us. And yes, sometimes it is just an instinct reaction. We might have thought it is not an instinct but it is.
My sympathy goes out to people who have lost their loved ones as well as those who have lost their life. We always want things to be different but sometimes things are not going the way we want them to go.
Be well you all
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